bryson

Logliner · 450 points

80 points to Wordsmith

9 loglines
35 reviews

Trying to clear a debt, a sport gambling lawyer has three days to locate what is believed to be a non-existent object while avoiding a watchful detective.

May 28, 2014
Love lost is pain felt for members of the 40 and over club. Can they gain comfort as they traverse the road of change?

May 26, 2014
A novice hit woman accidentally kills her first employer and now must take out an avenging mob when they threaten to kill her family and relatives.

January 28, 2013
Nathan Carson receives an e-mail from the hotel staff regarding his indiscretion. When he offers to pay them, he learns it is not his money that will keep their silence.

January 27, 2013
While being pursued by police and a protection team, David Porter must find the legendary Tony Bill to pay off a gambling debt; or he’s dead

January 7, 2013
Expecting a big extortion payoff, an esteemed detective’s last case forces him to protect his extortion partners and save his reputation.

January 4, 2013
Celebrating 30 years, a retiring detective’s last case is to investigate a theft where he must protect the criminals he planned the crime with.

January 1, 2013
After losing their home, a penniless couple launch a clever scheme to become permanent residents at a hotel while evading the staff.

December 30, 2012
Losing their home and wearing out their welcome with friends, a married couple devise a plan to become temporary residents at a hotel

December 29, 2012

on Trying to clear a debt, a sport gambling lawyer has three days to locate what is believed to be a non-existent object while avoiding a watchful detective.

Perhaps you are correct.
on Trying to clear a debt, a sport gambling lawyer has three days to locate what is believed to be a non-existent object while avoiding a watchful detective.

You support my original decision to not include it in the log line because unless you read the script you won't know who/what it is. The struggle for the our protagonist, lawyer, is to locate something believed to not exist,…
on Trying to clear a debt, a sport gambling lawyer has three days to locate what is believed to be a non-existent object while avoiding a watchful detective.

With four days to find the legendary tony bill, a lawyer and hotel clerk must avoid its guardians and a watchful detective.
on Trying to clear a debt, a sport gambling lawyer has three days to locate what is believed to be a non-existent object while avoiding a watchful detective.

Thank you everyone for your feedback and willingness to explain your comments. Definitely appreciated.
on Trying to clear a debt, a sport gambling lawyer has three days to locate what is believed to be a non-existent object while avoiding a watchful detective.

I guess I am missing something here. If I don't want to necessarily give away this object why must it be stated? Isn't the point to create intrigue to want someone to find out what that object is? The focus…
on Trying to clear a debt, a sport gambling lawyer has three days to locate what is believed to be a non-existent object while avoiding a watchful detective.

The lawyer is a sports gambler. The type of gambling was added for clarity.
on Trying to clear a debt, a sport gambling lawyer has three days to locate what is believed to be a non-existent object while avoiding a watchful detective.

The object is intended to be a surprise revealed at the beginning of the script.
on A novice hit woman accidentally kills her first employer and now must take out an avenging mob when they threaten to kill her family and relatives.

Okay sharkeatingman...i will heed your warning. I do like the shorter version without giving away too much about the story.
on A novice hit woman accidentally kills her first employer and now must take out an avenging mob when they threaten to kill her family and relatives.

Thank you sharkeatingman for your comments. I was pretty excited about the idea when I came up with it and eagerly starting coming up with an outline for the script. Good points on the grammatical improvements - I will update…
on A novice hit woman accidentally kills her first employer and now must take out an avenging mob when they threaten to kill her family and relatives.

Thanks for the feedback Kriss - below is an update to help make it more interesting. Although I think it is too long. To support her lavish lifestyle a model becomes a hit woman and accidentally kills her first employer…

Penpusher
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