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A miner investigating a vein of gold must bring his team of five back to safety when a string of seemingly paranormal occurrences drives the men to insanity.
Simply introducing your hero as "a miner" doesn't give me any characteristic or character flaw that make me root for him. Other than that, great clear logline.
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To overthrow the manipulative authorities of year 2086, a man genetically designed to teach the values of the regime decides to fight his mental programming, team up with outlaws and free a people brainwashed by a corrupt government
Thanks! :D I've never heard of Harrison Bergeron, but I'll take a look around and see if I can find it! I really like parts of your version of the logline, but not all of it ;) I'll see if…
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Finding a dazzling world outside the enclosed home of the feared and hated pooka-people, a young pooka learns to cooperate with other species and takes it upon himself to defeat the oppressive leader of his own people and unite the world.
Haha a pooka is a mytholoical creature from Irish folklore, not something I've made up :P
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To overthrow the manipulative authorities of year 2086, a man genetically designed to teach the values of the regime decides to fight his mental programming, team up with outlaws and free a people brainwashed by a corrupt government
Thank you :) I really like your suggestions, and I will most certainly do a ton of research on genetics and certain technologies as I go forward in developing my world. The whole idea for the concept came to me…
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After a devastating solar storm, a gold reserve manager and his family must escape the city and collapse of society, unknowingly hunted by a ruthless clan-leader looking for gold.
This might not be at all what you're after, just a thought that popped into my head when I read this. It doesn't work if you want an innocent and moral main charachter, however. How about when the solar storm…
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To overthrow the manipulative authorities of year 2086, a man genetically designed to teach the values of the regime decides to fight his mental programming, team up with outlaws and free a people brainwashed by a corrupt government
There are a lot of things I would like to explain in the logline, but I have already shortened it a thousand times before even finding this version (which I still feel is a little wordy). The idea for the…
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After a career-threatening injury puts back a dream of becoming one of soccer’s elite, a teenage boy must rediscover his form and prove his doubters wrong.
You have a clear story, but I feel I'm missing the details. To paint a mental picture of what we're actually going to be watching for at least 90 minutes, I would add HOW he attempts to do this. What…
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To overthrow the manipulative authorities of year 2086, a man genetically designed to teach the values of the regime decides to fight his mental programming, team up with outlaws and free a people brainwashed by a corrupt government
He decides to fight his mental programming because he gets a glimpse of the cruelty going on beyond the polished surface of the regime and thereby sees the actual effects of that which he teaches as "the right way of…
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Finding a dazzling world outside the enclosed home of the feared and hated pooka-people, a young pooka learns to cooperate with other species and takes it upon himself to defeat the oppressive leader of his own people and unite the world.
I guess "finding a dazzling world" is more of an opportunity (can't it be that though? Some teachers even call the Inciting Incident the Opportunity). I do, however, agree that the opportunity in itself doesn't Force him to act. He…
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Hating the world and basically everyone in it, the cynical college-student Charlie and her four somewhat peculiar classmates turn their classroom into a lair and start a business to, with varying results, alter what sucks about the world. (sit-com)
Thank you Karel! Yes, I did have to really think it through. It being a sitcom I had no idea how to phrase it, since it, like you said, has no clear goal except for the very broad "changing the…
