DC_33

Penpusher · 70 points

230 points to Logliner

on When the normalcy of an overly meticulous statistical analyst is disrupted by the appearance of a small cloud above his head, he must find a way to get rid of it before his crititcal work presentation.

I love big words because they explain things totally without equivocation...if you know what they mean. (i humbly suggest with all respect) For the average Joe it might not be understandable and in reading it there's a lot of syllables…
on Bleeding in the middle of a job, a hit woman must fight off a distressed woman for the last pack of tampons, before she misses her marked man.

I like the first line, it's intriguing. Woman coming up twice in the same line is tripping me up a bit. (i humbly suggest with all respect) Maybe distinguish each woman so they are unique. Maybe mention the period somewhere,…

Enjoying Logline It?