drpun67

Penpusher · 60 points

240 points to Logliner

3 loglines
5 reviews

Four friends with troubled pasts aquire stolen SWAT uniforms to raid drug houses. They are in over their heads with the local druglord when the cop who supplied the uniforms turns on them.

July 30, 2012
A lonely young man gets caught up in the craziness of an exclusive nightclub that he discovers might be trafficking drugs but he soon falls head over heels for a quirky girl who is addicted to the club, the only way to save her and maybe himself is to bring it all down.

July 3, 2012
A young man unaccustomed to night life falls for a girl at a nightclub where the more he goes the more dangerous the club appears; he struggles to free her and himself from the addiction of the club.

June 20, 2012

on Four friends with troubled pasts aquire stolen SWAT uniforms to raid drug houses. They are in over their heads with the local druglord when the cop who supplied the uniforms turns on them.

Thanks for the compliment. Your input is appreciated and I like what you did there. I'm going to be submitting this script to the Tracking B contest in a couple days and they require a logline so this really helps.
on A lonely young man gets caught up in the craziness of an exclusive nightclub that he discovers might be trafficking drugs but he soon falls head over heels for a quirky girl who is addicted to the club, the only way to save her and maybe himself is to bring it all down.

I believe the hook is the fact that a regular guy is being drawn into a sinister club that may be front for drug trafficking and the girl he likes is already sucked in.
on A lonely young man gets caught up in the craziness of an exclusive nightclub that he discovers might be trafficking drugs but he soon falls head over heels for a quirky girl who is addicted to the club, the only way to save her and maybe himself is to bring it all down.

she's addicted to being at the club all the time. She's also seen doing drugs but if she's not at the club it's like she's going through withdrawals.
on A young man unaccustomed to night life falls for a girl at a nightclub where the more he goes the more dangerous the club appears; he struggles to free her and himself from the addiction of the club.

As far as the girl goes she is an addict. Drugs and alcohol but she is also addicted to the club and can't stop going. The inciting incident is the guy seeing her for the first time in passing and…
on A young man unaccustomed to night life falls for a girl at a nightclub where the more he goes the more dangerous the club appears; he struggles to free her and himself from the addiction of the club.

since no one is commenting maybe I should change this logline. A young man unaccustomed to night life falls for an energetic girl at an exclusive nightclub but he soon discovers the club is a front for drug trafficking and…