elliotsdad

Penpusher · 170 points

130 points to Logliner

4 loglines
10 reviews

A troubled frontiersman leads his team in clearing the indigenous lifeforms in preparation for human colonisation. But when the terraformers arrive, he realises that his team is expendable and their only chance of survival is to join forces with the few remaining aliens.

June 14, 2014
In the hostile and remote Appalachian wilderness, an adrenalin junkie leads a group of friends on a punishing mountain bike trek. But when they stumble on a gang of militia extremists, they find themselves on a race for their very lives.

May 31, 2014
In a partially built, luxury high rise building, a team of disgruntled construction workers, furious at just being fired, must band together to save their boss’ daughter from a group of ruthless kidnappers who have stormed the building.

May 20, 2014
A female lawyer defends a mother whose children are taken into care. But as she starts to believe the mother’s story that the children are possessed, she fears she’s put her own family in jeopardy.

May 8, 2014

on The story that I’m trying to tell now is a film that depicts the 24 hours prior to Brutus deciding to join the conspirators in killing Caesar.

Hi JBalmer, just wanted to let you know that if you want to write you story on spec as a sample, sure go for it. But there is already a Caeser story shooting at the moment with Sean Bean.
on Following the death of her abbusive husband, and news of her terminal ilness prompts a mother to reunite her scattered family for what may be her last mothering sunday.

Hi, I like family dramas, so your story intrigues me. By I was left with a few questions: the 'news of her future''may be her last' sounds like a bit of a tease, if you're trying to say she has…
on In the hostile and remote Appalachian wilderness, an adrenalin junkie leads a group of friends on a punishing mountain bike trek. But when they stumble on a gang of militia extremists, they find themselves on a race for their very lives.

Hi, thanks for your support and help. Reducing the word count helps, thx
on In a partially built, luxury high rise building, a team of disgruntled construction workers, furious at just being fired, must band together to save their boss’ daughter from a group of ruthless kidnappers who have stormed the building.

Thanks for all your comments, the genesis of the idea came from wanting to make an action film where the heroes weren't action heroes but 'regular guys' who have some knowledge and skill in a particular environment, i.e. constriction and…
on When a software engineer discovers a secret network that monitors and manipulates the general public, he has no choice but to hack and control the assassin sent to kill him.

Hi, sounds like a good idea. It might be useful to try to shorten the initial explanation of the master plan. Do we need to know everything? It takes up a lot of your precious words. It might be good…
on Learning his wife may have survived a deadly inter-planetary war, a devoted husband’s fight to find her becomes inspiration for one last stand against human extinction.

I had a couple of questions, It would be great to have a little more info about the couple, who are they, what do they do, are they soldiers? civilians? How recent was the war? What is the main obstacle…
on A female lawyer defends a mother whose children are taken into care. But as she starts to believe the mother’s story that the children are possessed, she fears she’s put her own family in jeopardy.

Hi loisterrans, Thanks for your comments. However, I wanteded the lawyer to be the central character, as the mother has learning difficulties, and is seen as an easy target in the story, who then does a 'Primal Fear' 180 degrees…
on A female lawyer defends a mother whose children are taken into care. But as she starts to believe the mother’s story that the children are possessed, she fears she’s put her own family in jeopardy.

Hi lewisricekrispy, thanks for your reply and support. She puts her daughter at risk by allowing her to get close to the mother who's children are taken into care, with suspected physical abuse. The mother is adamant there is something…
on A hopelessly bad-tempered aspiring cop in a crime-filled city is bitten by a vampire, giving him the supernatural powers necessary to defeat the criminals overpowering the local police force.

The central idea of a cop or a virtuous personality becoming a vampire, who by definition must kill to survive, is an interesting one. If he's a rookie / aspiring cop, then 'hopelessly bad tempered' doesn't help. I also think…
on A human test subject’s pursuit of freedom put’s his life in jeopardy when he interferes with a narcissistic scientist’s hunger for global mind control.

Hi, this is my first attempt at reviewing. Would be helpful to know more about the "MAN', and also about the voodoo zombie state. Why? Where? How? Not sure how him waking is necessarily connected with mad scientist? The zombie…