it52

Logliner · 300 points

230 points to Samurai

3 loglines
25 reviews

A well trained female vampire slaying killing machine must go undercover as a vampire to contaminate a drug that two vampires are developing that will allow vampires to walk during the day time, but when she grows feelings towards one of them, things get complicated.t

August 14, 2012
A vampire and vampire slayer living as roommates, hiding their identity, are secretly trying to kill each other, but fall in love in the process.

May 29, 2012
A dedicated and passionate elementary school teacher attempts to win over his female co-worker but a sexual experience forced upon by a guy challenges everything in his life.

April 11, 2012

on Death has been conquered, adrenalin drained at the point of death creates the immortality pill used by the rich and privalged. God sickened by the murder of innocents unleashes his wraith on the immortals.

It sounds unusual. I'm honestly not sure what to think. Maybe it would be better if one of the people in the prison camps becomes our hero and triumphs over the evil instead of a soldier sent down from god.…
on Romantic comedy about two competitive best-seling authors – who hate each other, are thrust together by circumstance while competing to be a writer for the most successful magazines in the country.

First off, don't put romantic comedy or the genre in your logline. It should be for the most part clear what the genre is without you stating it. If you wanted to state it in the description below, that's fine.…
on After losing his job, Nathan wants to destroy the world economy causing millions of job losses; Things change when people are hurt.

The logline makes me not like the character. Why would he want to destroy the world economy? Out of revenge? How would that help anything? Also, how would him losing his job make him come to this decision. And how…
on A vampire and vampire slayer living as roommates, hiding their identity, are secretly trying to kill each other, but fall in love in the process.

What do you guys think of this one? I thought this one was too wordy so that's why I was trying to cut it down. Also, I don't think you're supposed to put the ages of characters in your logline.…
on A drug addict and a businessman come together through their joint love of music, and become increasingly dependant on each other.

I think that sounds better. It peeks my interest now. I think adding that their mediocre lives crumble around them works. But you could still leave in a drug addict and a businessman, instead of two people. At least we…
on A drug addict and a businessman come together through their joint love of music, and become increasingly dependant on each other.

What me and Nir Shelter are both saying though is that you need to possibly put more info in your logline. What hold ups do they have? That could be presented in the logline.
on A vampire and vampire slayer living as roommates, hiding their identity, are secretly trying to kill each other, but fall in love in the process.

I ended up adding more detail to my logline since it was probably too vague before. Either I make my loglines too vague or too detailed. "A vampire finds a new female roommate for a fresh kill, except she's a…
on A drug addict and a businessman come together through their joint love of music, and become increasingly dependant on each other.

I still think it's a little too vague. I def get that it's a slice of life drama. If your characters don't have any real goals than the characters might be too passive and not assertive enough. You could incorporate…
on A vampire and vampire slayer living as roommates, hiding their identity, are secretly trying to kill each other, but fall in love in the process.

This would be a dual protagonist movie and I have a pretty good way of writing it so I think it'll work. That's why I wrote the two main characters in my logline. Maybe I'm not giving enough information in…
on For single mother Beth, raising teenage twins & juggling a career just got medieval when into her world lands a baby dragon named George.

I agree with sharkeatingman. There is something intriguing in your logline already. Maybe you could reword it a little differently but if I read this as a logline on television, I would give it a shot. The tone is clear…