Jessie

Samurai · 1,135 points

1,365 points to Mentor

10 loglines
72 reviews

A closed-off artist tries to leave her old life behind without attachments, when an anonymous one-night stand goes hilariously wrong and the protective wall around the painful memory, isolating her, begins to crack.

April 7, 2021
Revision 2: A telepath must install a countermeasure in a guarded government facility, before an anti-telepath weapon is launched.

July 11, 2018
2112: the government is about to destroy a city’s ability for deep emotion, an outcast telepath must trade in her beloved, to rescue someone murdered in the past to start an uprising.

July 10, 2018
When a ruthless, undercover alien headhunter discovers, her goofy co-travel-guide-researcher is from the rivaling faction, they must secretly use their genuine budding friendship to outwit the mastermind set on pinning them against each other. (The Alien Guide To Bavaria – to be a youtube show)

June 12, 2018
Revised2: Upon learning their time-line has been sabotaged, an insecure, scatterbrained time-travel expert must win the faith of her cranky husband and her team, in time to save her wrongfully terminated project and their marriage.

April 20, 2018
1

Sabotaged on her studio debut, a novice filmmaker must produce her blockbuster without funds and with local amateurs to prove herself, before she loses the rights to her script.

April 14, 2018
Revised: After a magical species abducts their parents, to transform them into their evil emperors, their twins must find and rescue them in time.

April 7, 2018
When an obsessive archaeologist accidentally releases a near-omnipotent demon, he must impersonate its boisterous, evil overlord to con it back into captivity.

April 1, 2018
1

Revised: When a bumbling alien pollutes the timeline, he and his adopted human family must travel back in history, and prevent the apocalypse… again!

March 23, 2018
Revised: After her children are taken, on account of her mental illness, a holier-than-though mother must reclaim them, by undergoing a life-threatening VR therapy: defeating embodiments of her demons in simulated combat.

March 22, 2018

on Three characters, three life stories, integrate as a schizophrenic detective puts together puzzle-pieces in a quest to imprison a split-serial killer posing as Hollywood’s Messiah. — WHOLE

Uhum. Sound like it fits. And because some symptoms are similar, as you mentioned, I can see him thinking Schizophrenia until he learns more. Cool!
on Three characters, three life stories, integrate as a schizophrenic detective puts together puzzle-pieces in a quest to imprison a split-serial killer posing as Hollywood’s Messiah. — WHOLE

Seems to me, that you mc has two conditions . The MPD and the schiz. Could the schiz be caused by the mod? Maybe. I think MPD is at this stage somewhat theoretical. You may have some freedom in how…
on A closed-off artist tries to leave her old life behind without attachments, when an anonymous one-night stand goes hilariously wrong and the protective wall around the painful memory, isolating her, begins to crack.

I think I know how to approach it. I’ll need to leave the script alone for the most part, but more cards on the table with the logline. Got it, thank you! 😁🙏
on A closed-off artist tries to leave her old life behind without attachments, when an anonymous one-night stand goes hilariously wrong and the protective wall around the painful memory, isolating her, begins to crack.

That would be an interesting movie! 😁👏 I’ll need to adjust to an existing script. Nice and crisp though, thank you! Can use that as a template.
on Three characters, three life stories, integrate as a schizophrenic detective puts together puzzle-pieces in a quest to imprison a split-serial killer posing as Hollywood’s Messiah. — WHOLE

Sorry, in case that that this already covered. Mpd and schizophrenia, that’d be quite the hammer challenge for your mc 👍🙂
on Three characters, three life stories, integrate as a schizophrenic detective puts together puzzle-pieces in a quest to imprison a split-serial killer posing as Hollywood’s Messiah. — WHOLE

A big question. Is your character suffering from multiple personality disorder only or also from schizophrenia? Schizophrenia, although it translates to split mind, is a very different disease! Please google. Using the wrong term here is a classic mistake. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizophrenia…
on When his unknown opponent suffers a brain haemorrhage in the ring at a local tournament, a rookie fighter must discover the boxer’s identity and find his family to gift his prize money to them.

I feel, like I'd like to hear more about the journey and the obstacles there. Other than? not knowing where to find the family. At the moment, I'm picturing someone taking a flight, checking in in a youth hostel?and knocking…
on 2112: the government is about to destroy a city’s ability for deep emotion, an outcast telepath must trade in her beloved, to rescue someone murdered in the past to start an uprising.

Which part of it would you guys cut?
on In a last attempt to prove himself, a washed-up detective must unravel the secrets of a small-town to find two missing children.

I think what's happening is that you are mixing up two different formats. You're pretty close, but a logline benefits from following a very specific structure. Just check back with the formula. Know whee to find it? What you wrote…
on A burnt-out detective has to face his past when offered the job of finding two missing kids in a small-town full of lies. ★ Accepted

This sounds good to me in concept, too! Have you got a couple more details to sharpen it up with? See variable's feedback.

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