Keith

Penpusher · 155 points

145 points to Logliner

4 loglines
15 reviews

A corrupt rural sheriff must find a senator’s abducted daughter to bring a quick end to an FBI manhunt that could expose his ties to local drug trafficking.

July 5, 2014
A corrupt, rural sheriff is pressured by his drug-lord bosses to protect their enterprise from the FBI while helping the feds search for an abducted girl.

July 5, 2014
A loud-mouthed TV pundit secretly sabotages the campaign of the goody-two-shoes candidate he publicly supports to get the incumbent re-elected and keep his ratings high.

February 20, 2014
After his partner swindles him out of his fortune, a selfish real-estate tycoon and his dysfunctional family move in with his Mexican gardener and his family, and then he seeks the gardener’s help in proving his former partner’s crime.

February 16, 2014

on An estranged couple begrudgingly accepts a mission to rescue an atheist with the hopes for reconciliation, but in Hell nothing but hate can survive.

Why? Also watch the comma between "hell" and "and". It breaks the rhythm of the sentence and makes the second part sound like an obstacle rather than goal.
on A corrupt rural sheriff must find a senator’s abducted daughter to bring a quick end to an FBI manhunt that could expose his ties to local drug trafficking.

Thanks for the encouragement, Richiev. I like the idea of the anti-hero doing the right thing too. Even if their motivation at first is to save their own ass.
on A corrupt rural sheriff must find a senator’s abducted daughter to bring a quick end to an FBI manhunt that could expose his ties to local drug trafficking.

Hear, hear. I agree 110%. Thanks for all of your input, dpg.
on A corrupt rural sheriff must find a senator’s abducted daughter to bring a quick end to an FBI manhunt that could expose his ties to local drug trafficking.

Thank you everyone for your feedback. I've discovered a problem I need to solve. I know the risk he takes by not acting (he goes to jail or gets killed), but I need to think about the risk he is…
on A corrupt rural sheriff must find a senator’s abducted daughter to bring a quick end to an FBI manhunt that could expose his ties to local drug trafficking.

Matilda, Thank you for replying. That whole "root for" thing bugs me. I didn't "root for" Tony Montana in Scarface, but I was interested in his fall. Sometimes I think the concept that we are told as writers that our…
on A corrupt, rural sheriff is pressured by his drug-lord bosses to protect their enterprise from the FBI while helping the feds search for an abducted girl.

Are you suggesting that we should only write about nice guys or that I need to add an element to my logline to show his compassionate side (e.g., he has a son in a permanent vegetative state and he would…
on To put her royal beloved on the throne, a young and ambitious mistress has to plot against his elder and much more charming brother.

I like the first one. Quick question: is the lover in on the plot?
on To put her royal beloved on the throne, a young and ambitious mistress has to plot against his elder and much more charming brother.

"To put her royal beloved on the throne, an ambitious mistress plots against his more charming elder brother." "An ambitious mistress plots against her royal lover's brother to seize the throne for him." Not great, but a little shorter. In…
on After his partner swindles him out of his fortune, a selfish real-estate tycoon and his dysfunctional family move in with his Mexican gardener and his family, and then he seeks the gardener’s help in proving his former partner’s crime.

Hey Valentin, I'm approaching it as a comedy. I think comedy is a great vehicle for social commentary as subtext. I'm thinking along the lines of a "buddy picture" ("Wedding Crashers", "Trading Places", etc.), so I'm still in the early…
on After his partner swindles him out of his fortune, a selfish real-estate tycoon and his dysfunctional family move in with his Mexican gardener and his family, and then he seeks the gardener’s help in proving his former partner’s crime.

Thanks for the great ideas.