Kimmy Gorden

Penpusher · 130 points

170 points to Logliner

2 loglines
8 reviews

A struggling businessman has his world upended when a train explosion leaves him wounded in an untamed jungle. He’ll have to survive the elements, the wildlife and a forgotten tribe if he ever wants to see his family again.

January 6, 2015
Two Cities. Two Heroes. One villan: TWO FACE. Dick Grayson sets off on his own after he and Bruce Wayne have a major falling out- but now, Harvey Dent has pulled a crime that involves both cities and the heroes have to work together again to stop it.

January 6, 2015

on A struggling businessman has his world upended when a train explosion leaves him wounded in an untamed jungle. He’ll have to survive the elements, the wildlife and a forgotten tribe if he ever wants to see his family again.

I really like those cuts, Richiev- I wouldn't describe the antagonist as arrogant. He is weak though. The story is kind of a find your strength in your freedom story. And the tribe actually ends up helping him do this...…
on A struggling businessman has his world upended when a train explosion leaves him wounded in an untamed jungle. He’ll have to survive the elements, the wildlife and a forgotten tribe if he ever wants to see his family again.

Been thinking of doing this as a graphic novel- So the "people" won't really be people...probably bears. I draw them pretty good. And the places will be fictional but heavily based on reality. The Protagonist is tasked with going to…
on An ex couple accidentally gets locked in the basement at a New Years Party and are forced to speak about their past, present and future.

If they are exes then (to me) the obvious time bomb is that someone is going to (re)marry very soon. Maybe the next day? Don't know how to throw that in a concise line though- "When former lovers accidentally lock…
on When an obstetrician turned part-man / part-foetal matter exacts his revenge on those responsible, he must rescue an innocent life to destroy a demon from his own mind made flesh.

I'll be the first to say the Foetal thing confused the hell outta me...What about this? "After a string of attacks on an abortion clinic mutilate a doctor and leave several of his patients dead- he sets out for revenge;…
on A teenage vigilante with a warped view of reality and superheroes must save his hometown in the aftermath of a disastrous earthquake and the arrival of a dangerous pyromaniac.

THIS.
on A teenaged girl is thrown into a heaping mess with the gathering forces of evil, an axe weilding ghost maniac, and the task of hiding her darkest secret as cursed witch.

Agreed with the others here as a goal is not really- clear. But just going on what you wrote and how I would do it- "A closeted teen-aged witch tries to keep her secret and save the world when a…
on A single, middle aged, Jr.High teacher that is addicted to Demerol, seeks redemption by trying to save an abused student from a father that happens to be her dealer.

GREAT log line...Very interesting. I just think it needs to be trimmed and a punch- something like: "A middle-aged teacher struggling with addiction, seeks redemption by saving one of her students from an abusive father...who turns out to be her…
on Awaiting the arrival of a fugitive, a ruthless bounty hunter holds hostage the patrons of a sleazy bar but soon discovers the imminent arrival of another fugitive: a killer with advanced mental powers from an alternate reality.

"A bounty hunter holds a bar of patrons hostage in order to trap a fugitive but when another killer from an alternate dimension shows up instead- the hunter becomes the hunted." I don't even know if that is true- but…

A struggling businessman has his world upended when a train explosion leaves him wounded in an untamed jungle. He’ll have to survive the elements, the wildlife and a forgotten tribe if he ever wants to see his family again.

Two Cities. Two Heroes. One villan: TWO FACE. Dick Grayson sets off on his own after he and Bruce Wayne have a major falling out- but now, Harvey Dent has pulled a crime that involves both cities and the heroes have to work together again to stop it.