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A man faces an unimaginable crisis when he discovers his new girlfriend –the daughter of a Voodoo queen– is a zombie.
I think a pitchline is meant for selling. A logline is (as I thought) the backbone of your story serving as a development tool, making sure you have the right focus while working on the project.
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“A reckless cop suspects his clean cut partner is actually an off duty vigilante. Upon investigation he discovers his partner is part of a bigger conspiracy and question his own morales by bringing his partner to justice”
About the content: It is teasing indeed. I like the idea that the 'perfect' partner turns out to be the villain. But at this point all your protagonist does is realizing the world isn't what he thought it was. You…
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“A reckless cop suspects his clean cut partner is actually an off duty vigilante. Upon investigation he discovers his partner is part of a bigger conspiracy and question his own morales by bringing his partner to justice”
Hi Michael, it 's difficult to write a short log line. Mine are always to long too. But a logline should be short. Grabbing the attention without giving the story away: pitch line. The core of the story: log line.
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A female prison guard in the future, where prisoners are rehabilitated with virtual reality, discovers a conspiracy that puts her loyalty into question.
I understand the points of Steven. However about my earlier suggestion: in my humble opinion there 's a difference between using a 'dream' as a deus ex machine, and using the rules and mechanics of the world you 've set…
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A female prison guard in the future, where prisoners are rehabilitated with virtual reality, discovers a conspiracy that puts her loyalty into question.
Maybe it would be a nice idea that the guard discovers in the end she was living in her own 'virtual punishment', and is rehabilitating herself in a fictional reality. That would tie both ideas together. Or was that already…
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When a loving man lets his wife be detained in a mental hospital because she keeps seeing their dead son, he starts seeing the boy himself. After a long mental struggle he finally accepts his wife wasn’t mentally ill after all and he lets her back in only to find out she isn’t his wife anymore, but possessed by a demon which already took their son in the past. If he really loves her, he has to kill her. (just as she did with their son in the past)
Thank you for the effort. It 's coming closer. It 's not written yet. Working on the very first ideas with a befriended director. But the twist you suggest is really interesting. I'll breed on it some more. Thanks again!
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A guilt-stricken teenager returns to his hometown to find out who murdered the best friend he abandoned to attend university.
I like the idea. But I feel Bilak has to be the driving force. He doesn't 'agree' to help Dida, he does it voluntary. Bilak might even not want the help. That deepens the conflict. Anyway, your log line teased…
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When a young, lonely boy discovers a living, damaged, patchwork-teddybear in the attic of the house he just moved into, he promises to help his secret friend to find his former owner. But finding the guy would mean losing the new friend…
Thanks, that sounds good! I was thinking live action animation.
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Unable to pay the court costs to his recent divorce, an aging bank teller takes on a gang of ruthless thieves for their score when he is caught as a hostage during a bank heist.
I understand the previous remark(s), but I actually kinda liked the idea. That is, if the agent bank teller isn't desperately looking for money, but he 's got an I'vegotnothingtolose mentality. A you fucked with the wrong guy kinda Walter…
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When a goodhearted but shy, soft guy buys a new house with his girlfriend ready to start a family, he becomes (unintentionally) an accomplice in a crime committed by his new, criminal neighbor. The main police investigator proves to be an even bigger villain than the neighbor in trying to find the ‘guilty’ one, so the softy needs to grow a pair to escape the police without betraying his ‘new friend’.
Or a shorter version: When a na?eve softy -always looking for the 'good' in people- is targeted by 4 manipulating psychopaths, he must grow a pair to protect his family and fight the bastards without losing his goodness.
