Lemmy Caution

Logliner · 405 points

125 points to Samurai

6 loglines
27 reviews

Released from jail after 24 years, obsessed with reclaiming his fortune, a man must play a deadly game, devised by his dead wife, that leads him through the nine circles of hell.

September 12, 2016
When a solitary 11 year old 3D prints himself, he must defend his “twin” against a dodgy businessman who will go to any lengths to get his hands on the clone, including kidnap, blackmail and murder.

May 25, 2016
When an 11 year old accidentally clones himself, he is swept up in an audacious plot to kidnap world leaders and must use all his ingenuity to save his father, his friends, his unexpected twin and the world.

May 24, 2016
After terrorists import germ warfare samples, a refugee scientist must face the nightmare of retrieving the antidote from Syria before it can be manufactured and released.

June 20, 2015
When a deadly soil-borne virus is released in Canberra, an obsessed scientist battles military and political forces to save the city from pre-emptive destruction.

June 18, 2015
When a woman is imprisoned by a crazed vivisectionist, she must win the trust of the hybrids in order to escape and save her friends.

June 17, 2015

on Mistaken as Earth’s leader, due to his popularity on social media, a washed up actor is abducted by aliens to help prove humanity is worth saving from imminent destruction.

(Sorry I had a crash before I could finish.) The premise has great comic potential, though I'd avoid the Douglas Adams parallel. However a court battle is not going to hold attention for 90 mins - the court case sounds…
on Mistaken as Earth’s leader, due to his popularity on social media, a washed up actor is abducted by aliens to help prove humanity is worth saving from imminent destruction.

Is his name Arthur Dent? Sounds an awful lot like The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
on With only 24 hours before her life support machine is switched off, a coma patient is given a second chance when she is recruited by an organisation that operates within the human subconscious to help stop a terror group that controls people via their dreams.

"A bitter coma patient"? How can he express emotions when he's in a coma? "A unique undercover agency"? I think it's back to the dictionary for you!
on When a university student returns native sacred objects to a rural town he awakens an old Celtic curse. He must confront the curse to save the town and himself.

Where is this rural town - in Cornwall-Devon where Celtic curses mingle incestuously with Arthurian legend? Hammer used this plot several times I recall. It needs a modern touch.
on When a depressed office worker learns that his estranged, Chinese mob-boss father has been murdered, he must return home to avenge him!!

This is a thin plot that reminds me of those Jacky Chan chop-socky movies that Shaw Brothers churned out every week in the 1960s. Does he need to be Chinese? As Nir Shelter says, it needs an antagonist and some…
on When a mortally wounded astronaut crashes into an isolated road-diner, the young waitress must protect herself and her customers from the oncoming alien threat!!

If the astronaut is mortally wounded, presumably he dies before he tells the waitress about the threat (the inciting incident) .We need an inkling of the nature of this threat to the diners. Do the aliens take over their bodies,…
on After terrorists import germ warfare samples, a refugee scientist must face the nightmare of retrieving the antidote from Syria before it can be manufactured and released.

The elements are: he worked in the lab where the virus was made, so knows where the antidote is; he fled the country, becoming separated from his family; he ended up in Australia, traumatised but grateful; he offers to go…
on When a misfit discovers that she, and the rest of humanity, are just a computer simulation, she must team with a rebellious AI to prevent the simulators shutting down the virtual world in an attempt to stop humanity from being reborn.

"Dispassionate"? Back to the dictionary! Do you mean "disillusioned"? Or, if she is the only one who knows, maybe "mutated" would be better. If she's a "Sim", how can she be part of "humanity"? Presumably it was humanity who created…
on After terrorists import germ warfare samples, a refugee scientist must face the nightmare of retrieving the antidote from Syria before it can be manufactured and released.

A common problem with writing loglines is getting hung up on "essential" plot points. It's great that someone else can see through the deadwood and turn it on its head. So thanks, Richiev and Logline It!, your suggestions provide me…
on After terrorists import germ warfare samples, a refugee scientist must face the nightmare of retrieving the antidote from Syria before it can be manufactured and released.

Thanks for the feedback. An important issue is the scientist's past - a murdered family in Syria - this is the nightmare he must confront. I'll keep struggling to fit it into 25 words.