lempicka

Logliner · 405 points

125 points to Samurai

3 loglines
24 reviews

When a desperate PTSD sufferer is sent to an experimental therapy centre, she finds herself fighting for her life against the twisted therapists who by prey on their patients’ worst fears to increase the adrenaline in their “meat” and satisfy their cannibalistic hunger.

January 18, 2020
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A distraught murder survivor sent to an experimental therapy centre to overcome her longstanding terror must escape from the therapists before they exploit her deepest fears to satisfy their cannibalistic hunger.

November 24, 2019
When a troubled journalist returns to her birthplace to investigate the mysterious death of her childhood friend, she finds herself fighting for survival against the satanic cult now secretly controlling the town.

May 30, 2019

on When a selfish store clerk finds himself in the middle-ages, he clumsily awakens an ancient evil in an effort to return home; in doing so, he finds himself fighting armies of un-dead to not only save himself but humanity.

I like this, but I was wondering what the impact of the armies of the undead will have - as this is set in the middle ages, will the undead kill the future (as in Back to The Future)?
on After a childhood and adolescence of abuse by her father and stepfather, an adult woman must figure out the pieces of her trauma and how to overcome it.

Why does she have to do this now? And what will happen to her if she doesn't reach her goal? I think it would be stronger as (in the feedback above) there's a specific goal in mind.
on When a disgraced bodyguard is hired to transport a smarmy hitman to the Hague, the two have one weekend to outsmart, outrun, outgun, or evade, every assassin in Europe, and that’s if the two doesn’t shoot each other first.

This sounds like fun, but the threat seems to come from so many sources all at the same time, it doesn't grip as much as it could. Could you include some info on why they have to go to the…
on Trapped in a mansion filled with vampires and their human cattle, an amnesia-ridden detective must figure out how he got there, how to get out – and who to trust.

I like the set-up, but I wondered what part the detective's amnesia plays in this? Also, if he's trapped in a mansion filled with vampires, surely his most pressing need is to escape (not figure out how he got there).
on Chained together by backwoods cannibals, a bank robber and his hostage escape and must survive in unknown terrain – while the hostage is desperate to save her daughter, who they left with their captors.

I agree with Richiev - I think you need to choose a protagonist for us to follow - and the hostage seems like the likely choice. He/she then has has to escape the cannibals to rescue his/her daughter.
on During an unruly blizzard, a family is trapped in their house with a malevolent ghost who has their daughter, and given the choice – get out and live or look for their daughter and die.

I'm not sure if the blizzard is a red herring here. And why would they choose to look for their daughter if they're going to die, as what would then happen to the daughter? Could you set up a different…
on The Balcony-Scaler, The Train-Feeder, The Skin-Scratcher, and The Pornographic-Men. All serial killers. Their crimes committed the same decade, inside the same city where detectives will lose hope in search of justice.

I like the names and the set-up, but I'm not sure who the protagonist is, or what the stakes are. Is the story from the POV of one of the detectives? Are all these serial killers in league with one…
on A young aspiring musician discovers that the English language reveals a conspiracy, which he utilizes to make himself a star. He learns the rich and famous are given strange powers for their so called accomplishments.

A young musician discovers that the English language reveals a conspiracy, which he utilizes to make himself a star. He competes with other celebrities, vying for power over the fate of the world's largest fanbase. I think this is stronger,…
on A young aspiring musician discovers that the English language reveals a conspiracy, which he utilizes to make himself a star. He learns the rich and famous are given strange powers for their so called accomplishments.

A young aspiring musician discovers that the English language reveals a conspiracy, which he utilizes to make himself a star. He learns the rich and famous are given strange powers for their so called accomplishments. I think the first part…
on A young aspiring musician discovers that the English language reveals a conspiracy, which he utilizes to make himself a star. He learns the rich and famous are given strange powers for their so called accomplishments.

I think you need a protagonist, and to start with them - who is the hero of your story, and what do they need? What is blocking them, and what does the antagonist work? I'm not sure what the conspiracy…

Logliner