Michael Ro

Penpusher · 100 points

200 points to Logliner

2 loglines
7 reviews

1 follower

A socially inept, arrogant Set Decorator with ambition to become a producer, leads an odd-ball crew on a schlocky Sci-Fi TV series and puts everyones job on the line.

October 20, 2020
A pompous Ivy League grad working on a schlock SCI-FI TV series does whatever it takes to become a producer, but ends up being his own worst enemy.

October 15, 2020

on A socially inept, arrogant Set Decorator with ambition to become a producer, leads an odd-ball crew on a schlocky Sci-Fi TV series and puts everyones job on the line.

He's in middle management - "ambition to become producer" but he "leads Crew" so saying he puts his as well as his crews jobs on the line. Scenario quite common...
on A pompous Ivy League grad working on a schlock SCI-FI TV series does whatever it takes to become a producer, but ends up being his own worst enemy.

How about... A socially inept, arrogant Set Decorator with ambition to become a producer leads an odd-ball crew on a schlocky Sci-Fi TV series and puts everyones job on the line.
on To thwart the pain of diaspora and disillusionment, a local Asian-American college student pounces into the reckless lifestyle of vigilantes, triads, extremists, and violent pop-culture fanatics.

Second thought and answer to my question... To thwart the pain of loneliness (goal), an Asian-American college student (protagonist)pounces (action) into the reckless lifestyle of vigilantes, triads, and violent pop-culture fanatics (antagonists) and puts his life at (stake).
on To thwart the pain of diaspora and disillusionment, a local Asian-American college student pounces into the reckless lifestyle of vigilantes, triads, extremists, and violent pop-culture fanatics.

Maybe more specific pain of... loneliness(?) Diaspora is not a pain. And reduce antagonists to 2 or 3 (Max) To thwart the pain of lonliness (goal), an Asian-American college student (protagonist)pounces (action) into the reckless lifestyle of vigilantes, triads, and…
on Betrayed by his best friend and controller into killing an innocent man, an environmentalist-turned-hitman puts his life in jeopardy when he tries to save the daughter of the man he’s knowingly killed.

I can't quite make any sense of this...what is a controller? Do you mean tricked into? Who is the environmentalist ? Why is he turned hitman?
on A pompous Ivy League grad working on a schlock SCI-FI TV series does whatever it takes to become a producer, but ends up being his own worst enemy.

Thank you Phillipe for that insightful and detailed critique! It's a tough go these loglines! The thing I am aiming at, although I can see it is not expressed well in the logline, is that the protagonist is mid 30's…
on At a less-than-prestigious medical school, five non-traditional students — the former starlet of a medical drama, a grizzled field medic, an ADHD-addled wunderkind, a single mother of twins, and an overachiever fallen from grace — fight to prove they’re worthy of a medical license, even if it’s at the end of a road less traveled.

Seems to me that 3 is the max # of characters than can be comprehended