paulsavarese

Penpusher · 110 points

190 points to Logliner

1 logline
6 reviews

Secretly responsible for his best friends fatal fall, a selfish alcoholic, on the verge of relapse, must return to his hometown to help save his dead friends wife from her own self-destruction, or forever be imprisoned by his tormenting thoughts.

March 14, 2013

on A grieving mother get prescribed drugs that gives her visions of murders that later occurs.

"A grieving mother is prescribed drugs that enable her to envision future murders."
on A young man with no memory except for the last five years finds out he’s an android sent to infiltrate the human race before the aliens arrive to take over earth. He must now save his new home from his own masters depsite just now starting to know his own powers.

"A young man man discovers that he's an android sent to his now home planet, earth, to destroy the human race. He must now stop them, or lose everything that he loves." Or something to that effect.This has the "or…
on A School-janitor finds out that the extreme pains he just started suffering is because of a young student made a Voodoo-doll in the spitting image of him. Now he must get his hands on the doll and protect it from harm before he dies trying.

"A school janitor discovers that his chronic pains are being inflicted by a voodoo doll." I think that's all you need.
on A patriotic soldier is left behind after a failed mission to destroy a stash of explosives in a Middle Eastern village. He befriends a little girl who help him survive and make him see the effects of the war and when his team comes back to wipe out the entire village, he is forced to pick a side.

Need to tighten up grammar and spelling. Also drop the "what he learns aspect."
on Three fathers learn of their teenage daughters’ pact to lose their virginity on prom night and band together to stop them.

Very simple, to the point, and has a great concept. Immediately spawns all sorts of visions and possibilities. Very nice!
on A former rodeo star unknowingly starts a rapport with a young man who is responsible for all of the violence that has suddenly gripped his small town.

I find myself reading it more than once trying to understand it. Also "unknowingly" leaves me confused. Unbeknownst to whom and why is that critical?

Secretly responsible for his best friends fatal fall, a selfish alcoholic, on the verge of relapse, must return to his hometown to help save his dead friends wife from her own self-destruction, or forever be imprisoned by his tormenting thoughts.