Poromaa

Logliner · 385 points

145 points to Samurai

11 loglines
20 reviews

An engineer of peace have to lead war against the machines when the established, human safe heaven on mars gets threatened by the past.

October 9, 2017
When a Craigslist-swinging-meetup goes bad and the voyeruist find herself trapped with a serial killer, she must out-clever the killer before times-up as gagged-bate for the killer’s next victim.

February 5, 2015
When a virtuous father sexually connect with his son’s voyeuristic girlfriend, a sinful desire will put his beloved family and loving wife on stake, for discovering of submissive sex.

February 5, 2015
After a devastating solar storm, a gold reserve manager and his family must escape the city and collapse of society, unknowingly hunted by a ruthless clan-leader looking for gold.

November 21, 2013
When a colonisation crew of four escaping a threatened earth, awakens by ship failure, a useless artist must save the mission and mankind from a captain, incorrectly believing one of them isn’t human.

February 27, 2013
Days before the asteroid impact, a state lottery winner of a ticket to the survivor space station N.O.H.A gets haunted by a corrupted government agent trying to steal a seat for his beloved sister

February 2, 2013
To provide for his disabled brother, a debt-coated dealer accepts a highly secretive job for a world famous chef, as purveyor of an illegal, secret ingredient.

January 17, 2013
When a farmer’s son predicts a German attack on his home town, he has to either fight beside his proud father or follow his beloved sister’s wish to run away.

December 19, 2012
When a heartbroken man gets a number to long lost love, his brother steps in to stop him from facing a truth that would devastate him forever.

November 25, 2012
When a ruthless bank robber finds a gate to a parallel universe, any crime seems possible to escape, until the other self gets to take the blame.

October 16, 2012

on When a virtuous father sexually connect with his son’s voyeuristic girlfriend, a sinful desire will put his beloved family and loving wife on stake, for discovering of submissive sex.

Thanks for the feedback! I need a stronger goal!
on When a Craigslist-swinging-meetup goes bad and the voyeruist find herself trapped with a serial killer, she must out-clever the killer before times-up as gagged-bate for the killer’s next victim.

Thanks all for the feedback!
on When a Craigslist-swinging-meetup goes bad and the voyeruist find herself trapped with a serial killer, she must out-clever the killer before times-up as gagged-bate for the killer’s next victim.

Ah, I totally see how the swingers date looks unimportant and how the protagonist looks helpless. another try: When a Craigslist-swinging-meetup goes bad and the voyeruist find herself trapped with a serial killer, she must out-clever the killer before her…
on When slobby Jim and well-groomed Leo move into student housing together, their initial personality clash evolves into an unlikely friendship as they share the triumphs and humiliations of life in Sydney.

Knowing nothing about your series, I really think it will be easier to find conflict if you introduce some sort of antagonist element. Like for example: a notorious principal who tries to expel one of the characters because of some…
on When slobby Jim and well-groomed Leo move into student housing together, their initial personality clash evolves into an unlikely friendship as they share the triumphs and humiliations of life in Sydney.

Your logline seems to be missing an antagonist or is one of the characters the real protagonist? Also you may consider to skip the names of the characters, since that does not give us any extra information. Then, what is…
on A group of Marines, embedded in South Asia, embark on patrol of a remote island in search of drug runners. What they end up finding is something much more deadly and demonic than they could ever imagine.

Even though I find the logline interesting, technically it is missing a clear antagonist. If the story would to be set in e.g. Mexico, the island could be a sacred place for indians. In that case the antagonist could be…
on After a devastating solar storm, a gold reserve manager and his family must escape the city and collapse of society, unknowingly hunted by a ruthless clan-leader looking for gold.

As a former banker I know you're right, but I was more thinking of a "gold reserve manager" (or someone knowing exactly where the hidden reserve is). I thought that could be something unfolding later when the clan leader catches…
on Secretly responsible for his best friends fatal fall, a selfish alcoholic, on the verge of relapse, must return to his hometown to help save his dead friends wife from her own self-destruction, or forever be imprisoned by his tormenting thoughts.

This could be a good story! I believe its a bit to long though (not the story, but the logline :). You have 40 words. Try to cut it down to 25-30 words. Is it possible to find an Antagonist…
on When his pregnant wife is murdered, a grieving husband must kill the man responsible before joining her in the afterlife.

Like mmckean says this logline lacks something. Nothing is at risk here since he will die even if he tries or not. Also he won't get her back revenging the murder? Not knowing your story I could come up with…
on After waking up human, the former Angel of Darkness recruits a supernatural team to steal Pandora’s Box from Lucifer.

I would add something about "why" Angel of darkness needs the box. I guess he/she want power? If you add an "must" or "need" in the logline you could express the importance of why the Angel needs to form a…