rlakin

Initiate · 65 points

35 points to Logliner

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on Sarah Jane tells her story about how she over comes her past relationship and having to move on with life but is also struggling financially and having to look after her family and having to concentrate on her studies.

It seems like you're narrating the story, you've got to many 'and'. What is her goal? What should we be expecting? What does she need to do to accomplish her goal? You haven't established that in your log line.