Solace1016

Logliner · 345 points

185 points to Samurai

6 loglines
17 reviews

After her source is killed, a discredited journalist struggles to unravel and expose a diabolical plot by the world leader in DNA test kits before she becomes his next victim.

July 17, 2018
Denied life insurance benefits after her partner dies, an unemployed chef must unravel a diabolical link between the insurance company, a genetic testing company, and a popular internet search engine before she and her unborn child become their next victims.

October 16, 2017
A female director with an all-female cast and crew filming an action movie abroad must prove to the CIA that her step-daughter, cast as an extra, is not really an ISIS operative before filming wraps or her movie will be shut down and her step-daughter killed.

May 11, 2017
A desperate, talented rocker strikes a deal with someone worse than the devil: her father, in a last effort attempt to keep her rock star dreams alive.

May 10, 2017
A disgraced golf prodigy, scratching out a living hustling lessons, fights for the comeback of a lifetime to prove to his son, a gifted guitarist, that he is not a failure, and to keep his fractured family together.

May 10, 2017
After a deadly missile attack on a U.S. commercial flight, a brilliant but arrogant safety engineer spearheading a revolutionary new anti-missile product investigates whether the defense contractor she works for is responsible for the attack and finds herself the target of an anti-government weapons retailer.

May 10, 2017

on When a desperate fugitive randomly chooses the house of a reclusive lock-in to hide out in, he must pander to her love-starved attention or risk being discovered by the police. – A dark romantic comedy.

I LOVE this premise! Would like some kind of ticking-clock or increasing stakes beyond simply being discovered by police. Does she make him go out to buy her lingerie?? ?Is he engaged to another woman?? Is he gay? Although it's…
on When a dangerous CME is earthbound, and a satellite reflector won’t work, NASA, learning they have four days till impact, release a female hacker from prison, to find the problem and save the planet.

This has great potential! I'd like to vest immediately in your protagonist and why this is uniquely her story.? By way of an over the top, wacky example: Wrongfully convicted of hacking NASA, a pregnant scientist is released from prison…
on A troupe of aspiring college actors board a train bound for California hoping to make it big but must fight to stay alive as they are stalked by a mysterious passenger, who is eager to steal their spotlight and will stop at nothing to get it.

Love the premise of a contained setting. Agree with Overlord's comments. I humbly suggest you try getting more of what makes your story unique into the logline.? Just as an example: "after a college actress boards a Hollywood-bound train for…
on A hopeless romantic is stuck in a love triangle with her fiance and his bestman, and has three months to choose who she walks down the isle with.

Agree with the above but also encourage you to check out the conventions of "Hallmark Channel" type romances. This could be a great fit for one, and romance is a huge market. Good luck and keep at it!
on After attempting to escape the mob Sal Mano’s boss puts a bounty on his head. His daughter Bell must find a way to retrieve her family fortune in order to save her father’s life.

Agree with Nir Shelter, particularly giving the female protagonist an age range. You listed this logline as family, but it could also read like drama (Taken in reverse, Hanna, Paper Moon.) If family, consider including unique details to differentiate Bell…
on A hard-headed teenager who dreams up the perfect movie idea must overcome his laziness and learn the logline formula to create a marketable script before he gets pimp-slapped by the impatient veterans of logline.it for posting without following the instructions on the left. (Block Comedy)

Genius!!!
on ON THE BRINK OF DEFEAT, THE ARMY TURNS TO AN HONOR BOUND PILOT TO RISK COURT-MARTIAL AND THE LIVES OF HIS CREW.

I have a feeling you know your story well, but it's not coming across in the above logline. ?Maybe try reworking it in this format: ?When (inciting incident) happens, (Protagonist) must (goal) before (stakes if he fails.)
on A plucky archaeologist and his meddlesome team must search a brittle primordial underground temple for escape when an excavation mishap destroys the entrance and awakens a man-eating Yeti.

Great concept. ?You might want to find a description other than "plucky" to differentiate this archaeologist from others (Indiana Jones, ?etc.) ? ?"A claustrophobic archaeologist, trapped inside an ancient temple by a vindictive coworker, ?accidentally awakens a man-eating Yeti and…
on An anti authority figure begins to kill lawmen and takes their badges as trophies until an old gunman steps in to avenge the death of a childhood friend.

Great advice, ?Foxtrot25. ?The only thing I can add is that I'd like to know why the cowboy "must" avenge the friend and what the stakes are if he fails.
on The international

I like where this is going but I think the crux of your story is not clear based solely on this logline. ?There are a fair number of "diagnosed with cancer" stories around and I want to know what makes…