suzi0802

Penpusher · 100 points

200 points to Logliner

2 loglines
5 reviews

Beth is on the eve of being committed to an Alzheimers unit, but firstly she disappears to a place that exposes a decades old secret.

August 6, 2012
“The self- help guide to life ” ( provisional title)

August 6, 2012

on “The self- help guide to life ” ( provisional title)

Take 2: To please her dying mother by winning back her ex, a conservative librarian turns to self help books, but when she meets a bikie with the same addiction she is forced to choose between the two.
on Henry, a pool hustler from the lower east side of New York City, marries an illegal immigrant for money to pay his debts. This choice takes them both down an unprecedented journey of self- discovery.

The initial concept sounds good and as if it could be done reasonably cheaply also. You could make it a little tighter and possibly give more of an idea of the goal of Henry, as well as how the story…
on Australia. 1916. After the death toll at Gallipoli, a group of friends are forced to choose between their lives at home or the call of duty in France. They soon find themselves in some of the worst battles the world had ever seen.

This doesnt seem to be a LOGLINE so much as a promotional ad or the beginning of your synopsis. As an idea it's likely to end up being quite a high budget film?? If so this is something you need…
on Detective Kiron Pollard picks a team of 5 individuals to fight the latest crime menace plaguing the Brisbane city. The team consists of former criminals.

Firstly, I think you could condense this into one sentence. Can u make the crime epidemic a little more specific as an inciting incident? Then, what tone are you going for? Humour? If so, possibly 'but disaster ensues when he…
on No Man’s Land

This is more of a trailer description than a logline. The flaws of the protagonists aren't clear- they may each need contrasting flaws, which will then display the necessity to have two characters. Eg reckless, inexperienced, etc. the inciting incident…

Beth is on the eve of being committed to an Alzheimers unit, but firstly she disappears to a place that exposes a decades old secret.

“The self- help guide to life ” ( provisional title)