Vexmeister

No loglines yet.

• on When a single father attempts to recreate an idyllic childhood for his son through his beloved video game, a spark of rebellion from the boy compels him to face the harsh reality of their generational divide.

  Ah, I didn't realise this was for a short film. Completely different rules. Please ignore my previous comment.

• on A demoted police detective fights to find justice for her daughter after witnessing a grisly homicide that occurs near her newly assigned workplace.

  Right now I'm confused. Does the grisly homicide have something to do with her daughter? It's unclear. Also, if a police detective witnesses a homicide, they would start investigating it, wouldn't they Do they do that? Or do they go…

• on A young man in the quaint town of Ravens Circle must confront his deepest fears to uncover the eerie secrets that bind him to the malevolent force terrorizing his community before it consumes everything he holds dear.

  Has potential, but is currently too vague. We need specificity in loglines. He must confront his deepest fears – what are they? Is this set in our world or a fantasy world? What time period? What is the malevolent force…

• on When a single father attempts to recreate an idyllic childhood for his son through his beloved video game, a spark of rebellion from the boy compels him to face the harsh reality of their generational divide.

  This may be a great screenplay, but the logline makes the story seem quite small. This is because the conflict doesn't feel drastic enough to carry a whole movie. It is quite common for a child to have different interests…

• on The night before her on call shift, Sarah, a nurse working a second job, finds herself in the midst of late night deliveries. As she tries to walk her way back home, after the last delivery of the night, her night leads her all the way to work.

  I agree with Richiev's points. Additionally, it might be good to encapsulate what her character flaw/ arc is. E.g. Simba must overcome his immaturity, Shrek must get over his desire to be a loner, Oskar Schindler must move beyond his…