wilsondownunder

Samurai · 1,850 points

650 points to Mentor

7 loglines
129 reviews

When the son of an overly protective mother is told he has terminal cancer he decides to run away from home to experience life rather than spend his final days dying under the watch of his smothering mom.

September 14, 2013
Forced to stay at home following a heart attack, a high powered exec realizes he doesn’t know his teenage daughter when she announces she’s pregnant, prompting him to try and reconnect with her and stabilize the family.

July 23, 2013
A corporate executive is forced to choose between taking his dream job overseas with his new girlfriend or staying to try and repair his relationship with his estranged brooding teenage daughter when she announce she’s pregnant.

July 17, 2013
In order to settle a large debt, an exiled hit man agrees to a dangerous but lucrative assassination in Vegas, where nothing goes to plan after he realizes he’s been conned by his estranged brother-in-law.

July 3, 2013
A disgraced former agent is forced to face his past when he is called into a covert operation to bring down a suspected terrorist – the Secretary of Defense

June 23, 2013
Three friends become entangled in a series of mind games as they argue over what they should do when a local Sheriff comes looking for the woman they find murdered in their isolated cabin

June 23, 2013
After lying to her co-workers about being in a relationship, a corporate control freak is forced to bring her ex-fiance with her on a family oriented work retreat

June 23, 2013

on When a young Midwest psychic with a secret loses her supernatural gifts, instinct leads Crystal True to snowbird country where she uncovers the family she always dreamed of having.

Hi, switching out Crystal True with "her" will make this read better. I don't know what snowbird country is...perhaps switch this out to something any reader will be able to grasp and visualize instantly. Good luck
on In 2016 the cure for blindness is made. A newly cured blind man having trouble facing the “reality” and where his expectations are not met.

I'm curious to know what disappoints. If he was blind is it the reality that the world revolves around appearances? Try to include the meaning behind your story in your logline
on A guilt ridden widower searches for his wife’s long estranged mother in order to tell her of her daughter’s death.

To me it's clear why the mother doesn't know she's dead - they're estranged. What I'm wondering is whether the journey will reveal something about the wife or the husband? What will he gain from the journey? Is he atoning…
on When Aliter, an odd hawk with an overbearing family, leaves his home in a fit of rage, he will have to discover what it means to be truly free if he is to survive on his own.

Hi, looks like you're heading in the right direction already but I thought I'd add one more comment. It sounds as if 'odd' might mean he's gentle or a vegetarian. Why not say that in the logline? The reader might…
on Teetering on the edge of the Redshift Quasar, the last human colony has been destroyed leaving only the colony’s children behind and now every teenager’s dream is their worst nightmare.

Hi, As per above, Red Quasar needs to be explained. Also, the way it's worded it doesn't make sense as to why the children survived the human colony being destroyed. Does this mean they're not human? I sense whatever caused…
on When a young actress accidentally murders her abusive acting coach, she discovers a new acting technique that helps launch her career, but grave consequences lurk just around the corner.

Hi, this has legs. I see similarities to Black Swan in a way - which is a good thing. Maybe you could have her kill her coach in self defence before an audition. Using her emotions from her recent actions…
on A captain and his crew are lost and they lose power and also a bunch of pirates invade their vessel but unfortunately for the captain they have a helicopter.

Hi, Is it similar to Captain Phillips? Maybe. It's hard to say. There is a story about a boat invaded by pirates. So fundamentally yes, it is similar. There are a lot of similar movies though. From my point of…
on A gentle golden retriever flips out, I mean FLIPS! OUT! when a squirrel violates his lawn. In seeking justice, he discovers that he can fire handguns, and now he’s never taking another No! again.

Hi, Would this be an animation aimed at adults. Is it intending to be a short or a feature. I can tell its a bit of fun, slightly whacky - hence I like it. Maybe you can firm it up.…
on Who is Snowden and why did he do what he did? Is Snowden a hero or traitor?

Hi, I think you might actually need to tell us who Snowden is. Loglines are all about telling the reader what your films about. A (guy/girl/detective) has to (insert action the take) in order to (insert desired goal). From your…
on Batman is being sought for the murder of ex-cons, cops, and Rachel Dawes. Commisioner Gordon meets a man named “StrongMan” who tells him he can capture Batman. Mr. Gordon grants him immunity for any crimes he many commit in capturing Batman. However Strongman is working for an underground mob. Due to the events that have unfolded Batman has fallen into a deep depression.

All very valid comments above but the most valid is the ownership of these characters by DC. If you're just messing around, the above comments will really help you bring a solid logline together. If you're planning on writing this…