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  1. Posted: March 24, 2018In: Examples

    When a pulp ficion novelis arrives at post war Vienna, he has to solve an intricate web of mystery to discover what really happened to an old friend.

    ajay113 Penpusher
    Added an answer on August 8, 2018 at 1:19 am

    I feel like the penicillin detail is unnecessary - how about: "After his friend is killed in post-war Vienna, a disenchanted novelist finds himself navigating a web of shady characters to discover the truth about the man's life - and death."

    I feel like the penicillin detail is unnecessary – how about: “After his friend is killed in post-war Vienna, a disenchanted novelist finds himself navigating a web of shady characters to discover the truth about the man’s life – and death.”

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  2. Posted: July 26, 2018In: Examples

    After his prizefighter abandons him, an oldfashioned trainer takes on a stubborn woman to train her for a championship challenge.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 27, 2018 at 11:28 pm

    First, thank you for posting a logline for the movie, Nir Shelter.? Come to think about it, there's a lot to think about in this film.? But I gotta respectfully disagree on what constitutes the inciting incident in this film.? ?Because: 1]? If the male boxer leaves Frankie, but Maggie doesn't approaRead more

    First, thank you for posting a logline for the movie, Nir Shelter.? Come to think about it, there’s a lot to think about in this film.? But I gotta respectfully disagree on what constitutes the inciting incident in this film.? ?Because:

    1]? If the male boxer leaves Frankie, but Maggie doesn’t approach Frankie and asked to be trained, there’s no plot? The inciting incident is an event that MUST occur to , well , incite, kick off the plot.? If it doesn’t occur, there’s no plot.? The script could just as well have been written without the male fighter dumping Frankie.? It could have established Frankie as a washed up manager with no talent wanting to train under him.? Whatever his status quo would be, as long as Maggie asks to be trained there’s a plot.

    2] The SOP is for the inciting incident to occur within the 1st half of the 1st Act — by the 15th page.?I’ve got a copy of the script, too, and on page 5 Maggie approaches Frankie, asks to be trained.? That’s early — the usual plot point for the inciting incident is around page 15 — but no violation of the SOP.? ?For the inciting incident to occur on Page 27 is.

    3] The male fighter dumping Frankie is what I call (for lack of a better phrase)? a push off the fence beat — an event that compels a character to get off the fence and commit to the course of action that sets the plot in play.? The inciting incident is described as a “Call to Adventure”.? ?And the SOP is for the protagonist to initially refuse, resist that call.? Rather than action, there is inaction — the protagonist hems and haws, comes up? excuses not to act, to sit on the fence. It’s the phase of the 1st Act Blake Snyder calls? “Debate and Decision”.

    Up until page 27, Frankie has rebuffed Maggie’s “Call to Adventure”.? His handy excuse is that he’s already training a promising male fighter — why waste time on a woman?? After the male fighter dumps him, he has no excuse, no options.? And Maggie no longer has a competitor for Frankie’s time.

    >> don?t you think it would be best to describe the inciting incident of the main character (Frankie) and the action of the protagonist (Maggie) as part of the same story?

    Hmm.? As we know, the standard procedure is for the logline to be framed from the pov of one character, the designated protagonist.? I have elected to frame the plot from Maggie’s pov.

    But it’s complicated.? Let me put it this way:? That Frankie is played by one of the most popular and enduring actors of our generation can distort our perception such that we think that Frankie must be the singular protagonist because Clint Eastwood plays 2nd fiddle to no one, right???But what if the role had been played with a 2nd tier actor, someone usually cast in supporting roles?? I venture? the default perception would be that Hilary Swank’s character is and must be the protagonist.

    Let me toss? another movie into the mix for contrast:? “Working Girl” (1988).? Clearly, the protagonist is Tess played by Melanie Griffith.? But who leads off the credit scroll?? Harrison Ford (who doesn’t appear on screen until the beginning of the 2nd Act)? and Sigourney Weaver — both “A” list actors.? Melanie Griffith comes 3rd because she was, at best, only a “B” list actor.

    No matter.? The script is written before it is cast.? And in the “Working Girl” script (and movie), Tess unambiguously owns the story.? She is the prime mover of the inciting incident and she’s in the driver’s seat of the plot from FADE IN: to FADE OUT:.? She yields it to no one.

    And it was Melanie Griffith who got nominated — and won — the Oscar for Best Actress, not her “A” list co-stars.

    So who is in the driver’s seat of “Million Dollar Baby”?? ? I would say that initially Maggie is because she is the prime mover of the inciting incident in the 1st Act.? But unless Frankie eventually agrees to train her, there’s no plot.? So I suppose one could say he takes the driver’s seat when he finally agrees to train her.

    So for the plot to begin to happen (let alone play out) requires the actions and decisions of 2 characters, not one.

    And Frankie is certainly in the driver’s seat in the 3rd Act after Maggie is paralyzed.? Only? he can make the hard choice that brings the plot to it’s pathetic denouement. (And we all know that? in the 3rd Act, the driver’s seat is assigned to the singular protagonist — that’s his showcase moment to finally succeed, or ultimately fail.)

    Finally, fwiw,? both Hilary Swank and Clint Eastwood earned Oscar nominations for Best Actress and Best Actor in the same film.? What does that say about how the pros in the movie business perceived? their roles?

    Anyway , it seems to me that this is a rare film where two characters rotate taking control of the wheel — the spec script and final film are rare instances of a dual protagonist plot, one that works.

    Again, thanks for posting a logline on this film.? It offers a lot to think about.

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  3. Posted: July 15, 2018In: Examples

    When her son is kidnapped, the distraught mother must beg her tight-fisted father-in-law, J. Paul Getty, the world?s richest man, to pay the ransom.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 17, 2018 at 9:29 pm

    >>> ?to beg? doesn?t seem like the most compelling action a screenplayI agree, too.? ?But she's the protagonist -- albeit a rather hapless one.? She has no way,? no means to raise the money herself, no leverage to? induce her father-in-law to ante up.? J. Paul Getty is the marquee characterRead more

    >>> ?to beg? doesn?t seem like the most compelling action a screenplay

    I agree, too.? ?But she’s the protagonist — albeit a rather hapless one.? She has no way,? no means to raise the money herself, no leverage to? induce her father-in-law to ante up.? J. Paul Getty is the marquee character, the story hook character.? He’s more interesting and complex than she is,? but she’s the more proactive character.

    Come to think about it,? there’s no strong subjective arc for either the mother or the grandfather.?

    And the story is based upon real people, real events.? ?His grandson was kidnapped in 1973.? J. Paul Getty, although beyond filthy rich , refused to pay the ransom.? His rationalization was that it would only encourage kidnappings of his other 14 grandchildren.

    Ridley Scott is old enough to have remembered the event and the publicity so he needed no explanation, no introduction to the premise of the script.

    Eventually the ransom was negotiated down to $3 million? which Getty only agreed to pay because that was the maximum amount that was tax deductible.? As he says in the movie, he didn’t become the world’s richest man by making the most money, but by figuring out ways to keep it.

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