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When a stuttering prince unexpectedly becomes King of England, he struggles to overcome the debilitating condition and rally the British at the outbreak of WWII.
Great work on this concept. I must add, however, that the importance of the actual speech can't be overlooked - it's his outer goal. After a stuttering prince unexpectedly becomes King of England, he must overcome his disability to rally the English people against Hitler in a historical speech. He wRead more
Great work on this concept.
I must add, however, that the importance of the actual speech can’t be overlooked – it’s his outer goal.
After a stuttering prince unexpectedly becomes King of England, he must overcome his disability to rally the English people against Hitler in a historical speech.
He will continue to rally his people even after the speech, but it’s the speech that ends the story in the film and gives him the time frame and urgency of a ticking bomb.
See lessIn 1924 two British runners, one a determined Jew, the other a devout Christian, race against each other for Olympic gold.
Nir:Good points, as usual. ?So what's the logline with Abrahams in the role of the (singular) protagonist?Of course, Abrahams has to defeat the Americans to win a gold medal. ?But the rivalry between Abrahams and Liddell is given far more screen time than that between Abrahams and Sholz.And AbrahamsRead more
Nir:
Good points, as usual. ?So what’s the logline with Abrahams in the role of the (singular) protagonist?
Of course, Abrahams has to defeat the Americans to win a gold medal. ?But the rivalry between Abrahams and Liddell is given far more screen time than that between Abrahams and Sholz.
And Abrahams and Liddell were supposed to run against each other again in Paris in the 100 meter trials. ?But when Liddell refused to run on Sunday, that showdown never occurred. ? Abrahams never got a chance to prove himself the faster man, head-to-head against Liddell. ?So the story sets up the prospect of a ?re-match — and then…
I agree that the story is framed around Abrahams. ?And why it had to be: ?1]His story thread has a “B” story, a love interest. 2] Abrahams life provides satisfactory closure. ?Liddell died in an internment camp in China at the close of WW 2. ?Abrahams doesn’t die until 1978 .
Logically I agree with you that Abrahams carries the “A” story. ?But emotionally, I ?feel that Liddell carries the “C” story, the spiritual theme. ?And I would argue that the “C” story, Liddell’s character and positive? motivation sold more tickets than Abraham’s negative motivation — the chip he carries on his shoulder — against anti-Semitic slights. ?And accounts for the movie’s enduring appeal.
(As real as the anti-Semitism was that Abrahams endures in the film, it’s ?subtle and not an obstacle; ?at the start of the film, he was gained entry into a premiere portal of privilege and power — Cambridge University — and there is never any serious threat to his being cast out because he’s a Jew.)
Anyway, ?I think the most important question on which we may diverge is: ?are there times where we can — we must — depart from the standard formula for a logline? ?The primary purpose of a logline is to market the script, get people interested in reading it. ?That purpose must determine the method.
Most of the time, 95%+, the standard logline formula ?is?the right method. ?But there are exceptions. ?And I think this may be one. ?If you can come up with a standard logline with Abrahams taking the spotlight that has an equivalent hook, great. ?But I can’t think of one.
And in my private rule book, ?if I have to choose between a logline with a great hook and one that is correctly formulated, I’ll opt for the one with the great hook. ?Every time.
Best of all, of course, is a standard logline with a great hook. ?(Easier said than done.)
fwiw
See lessAfter Rome’s greatest general is betrayed by the Emperor’s corrupt son and forced to become a gladiator, he must fight his way to Rome to avenge the death of his family.
Agreed about the personal goal, it does indeed take priority when considering the emotional drive of the story and the audience empathy. However, I argue that the original goal - reunite?with his family, remains the same throughout. The emperor is killed before he finds out about his family's murderRead more
Agreed about the personal goal, it does indeed take priority when considering the emotional drive of the story and the audience empathy. However, I argue that the original goal – reunite?with his family, remains the same throughout. The emperor is killed before he finds out about his family’s murder, Commodus’ act of usurping the throne?was the inciting incident of the story – it set in motion all that follows.
As a result of the inciting incident Commodus interviews Maximus to find out where he stands, then orders his soldiers to kill Maximus,?and subsequently Maximus’ family. Yet?before any of this happens, Maximus’ goal to reunite with?his family was clearly established. I would wage that the reason Ridley Scott initially found it hard to nail the story, is because there were essentially two intertwining, yet separate, plots ?vying for dominants.
On a technical level the A plot is Maximus trying to stop Commodus, this means he wants to get him off the throne to?restore the republic – his disenchantment with the empire was clear. The B plot is him wanting to reunite?with his family, and the C plot is him exacting revenge on Commodus. Naturally the A plot and C plot require the same objective – kill Commodus, but the inciting incidents, and subsequently the motivations, of both were different.
This is not an easy film to logline (good choice by the way). A logline could be written about the personal goal of revenge to attract audience and investor’s attentions, but at the same time a logline could be written to describe the A plot about stopping Commodus for structural and development purposes.
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