1. Posted: September 2, 2020In:

    After his wife was murdered, a police officer must hold the bikers responsible with the help of his daughter who is a cyborg.

    Odie Samurai

    Interesting, getting a RoboCops Daughter vibe. You need a clearer connection to this cyborg thang, that hit me out of leftfield. I can “see” this guy’s wife getting murdered and instead of going for his gun, he reluctantly turns on a killing machine - his cyborg daughter and says Sic ‘em! lol. A couRead more

    Interesting, getting a RoboCops Daughter vibe.

    You need a clearer connection to this cyborg thang, that hit me out of leftfield. I can “see” this guy’s wife getting murdered and instead of going for his gun, he reluctantly turns on a killing machine – his cyborg daughter and says Sic ‘em! lol.

    A couple of questions, please.
    1. Where is this set, in the near future?
    3. Who is this police officer? Does he have access to cyborg tech? looking for how his daughter was built/modified.
    4. If HE has to hold them responsible, there must have been a miss in the justice system? How did the bikers escape justice?

    Take care.

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  2. Posted: September 1, 2020In:

    An American police officer teams up with a Japanese convicted felon to take down a drug lord who set them up in a drug deal gone wrong.

    Richiev Singularity

    I think this is your best logline to date

    I think this is your best logline to date

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  3. Posted: August 26, 2020In:

    After facing corruption in the porn industry, a film director and an aging actress teams up and kills those who is about to release their sex tape.

    Mike Pedley Singularity

    They work in the porn industry, what's so devastating about their sex tape being released? Isn't killing them a bit of an extreme reaction to it? For that to make sense we need to understand the consequences of the tape being released. What's at stake? "After facing corruption in the porn industry"Read more

    They work in the porn industry, what’s so devastating about their sex tape being released? Isn’t killing them a bit of an extreme reaction to it? For that to make sense we need to understand the consequences of the tape being released. What’s at stake?

    “After facing corruption in the porn industry” – what does this mean? Specifically, what is happening on screen. The inciting incident isn’t a general thing, it’s a highly specific moment in time that sets up the goal for the protagonist.

    Action film? Really? I don’t see anything in this logline that suggests Action. Two people conspiring to kill people covertly so as not to get caught… sounds like a Thriller to me. You have to understand the genre and its conventions and use them to make your logline work. The genre should be present in your logline.

    Hope this helps.

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