Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
A gifted young aid worker tormented by his dreams is thrust into a world where he learns humanity has been manipulated for aeons. He must learn to master his gift to save humanity and the people he loves.
Happysnapper, All the comments made to the first version still apply - the plot is vague and the story unclear. Below are a few questions that will pop into most decision makers minds. No need to answer them here in a reply to the thread, best you read other loglines and learn how other writers useRead more
Happysnapper,
All the comments made to the first version still apply – the plot is vague and the story unclear.
Below are a few questions that will pop into most decision makers minds. No need to answer them here in a reply to the thread, best you read other loglines and learn how other writers use specific events and details to clearly describe their stories.
What does young aid worker mean?
See lessIs he 18 yo, 21yo, 25yo, 30yo?
How does him being young help or hinder his efforts?
How is him being an aid worker connected to him saving the world?
How does him being tormented by his dreams connect to the plot?
What does “…been manipulated for eons…” mean in practical terms?
What’s the worst that will happen should he fail?
What motivated him to save humanity? What specific event?
What does accepting the past mean in practical terms? What must he actually do?
What does save the future mean in practical terms? Who’s future?
Which goal does he care about most? Save the world or save the people he loves?
A family need to prepare every resources in town as fast as they can before the nuclear boom hit their country in 3 min.
Yuen497, Little can be said about this concept that hasn't been said about your others already. However, is this a 3 min short film? If so, it could work as a gimmick based sketch. I would suggest you change it to a black comedy and specify one of the family memebrs as the main character.
Yuen497,
Little can be said about this concept that hasn’t been said about your others already.
However, is this a 3 min short film?
See lessIf so, it could work as a gimmick based sketch. I would suggest you change it to a black comedy and specify one of the family memebrs as the main character.
Two brothers struggle with forgiveness and loyalty when one takes revenge on the priest who wronged him in residential school only to realize he doesn’t get what he bargained for after inviting them back to the decrepit brick fortress one last time.
Agreed with DPG, and as usual, almost all noteworthy comments made, courtesy of international time zones, before we get to read the post...One other thing to think of is the dual protagonist plot - is it necessary for the story to work?If you can get away with one, I strongly -- nay, very strongly -Read more
One other thing to think of is the dual protagonist plot – is it necessary for the story to work?
If you can get away with one, I strongly — nay, very strongly — suggest you change it. It’s hard enough to write a story with one main character let alone two.
Last thing, what did they actually survive? I get that the education system imposed by colonial governments was not fair, but the specific nature of their ordeal may add to the emotional stakes much like in Sleepers. In other words, if they were beaten or raped we could immediately empathize with their motivation with little explanation needed.
See less