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A female bounty hunter holds a gangland bar hostage while awaiting the arrival of a fugitive killer but one of the hostages is hiding a deadly secret.
Kbfilmworks,I wholeheartedly agree that a pitch is ?a seduction, a strip tease. ?But it's got to flash enough skin, or at least deliver enough of bump and grind, ?to lure the mark in.This version doesn't flash enough skin, just doesn't have the bump and grind to lure me in. ?But different strokes foRead more
Kbfilmworks,
I wholeheartedly agree that a pitch is ?a seduction, a strip tease. ?But it’s got to flash enough skin, or at least deliver enough of bump and grind, ?to lure the mark in.
This version doesn’t flash enough skin, just doesn’t have the bump and grind to lure me in. ?But different strokes for different folks so maybe it will work for others. ?(Although I reiterate that your strip tease has to compete for attention with scores ?–hundreds? — of other loglines for the SciFi genre. )
Best wishes for this story.. Regards
See lessA female bounty hunter holds an innocent man hostage to trap his future-self: a fugitive killer from 20 years in the future, desperate to merge identities with his younger self to stay alive.
dpgI've posted a more high concept logline. I've decided to emphasize action ?rather than sci-fi in the logline. Most people need to think a bit to grasp a sci-fi logline but an action logline hits home immediately. Basically, you can't underestimate the intelligence of the mid-to-lower ranks of theRead more
dpg
I’ve posted a more high concept logline. I’ve decided to emphasize action ?rather than sci-fi in the logline. Most people need to think a bit to grasp a sci-fi logline but an action logline hits home immediately. Basically, you can’t underestimate the intelligence of the mid-to-lower ranks of the industry – the gatekeepers.
I think that creating intrigue is the best way to generate interest in a logline. The one-page synopsis expands on the logline but must also introduce fresh and intriguing story elements to lure people into reading the screenplay. It’s basically a seduction.
I don’t think I’m underestimating the potential of the project. ?All movie industries are ruled by fear of failure. ? In Hollywood and the UK- a satellite industry – they’ve convinced themselves that sequels, comic books and graphic novels are a safe ?bet but after the woeful summer box office returns the doors might crack open for original low to mid-budget projects. With this in mind, I’m now preparing to seriously pitch this project.
See lessPresent day, UK: A son flees his father?s wrath after his mother is accidentally killed but members of their martial arts family are driven to take sides and the inevitable showdown threatens to destroy them all.
If the secret is the inciting incident, then you should tell us what the secret is in the logline... That will be the 'hook' of your story.
If the secret is the inciting incident, then you should tell us what the secret is in the logline… That will be the ‘hook’ of your story.
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