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  1. Posted: March 24, 2017In: Action

    A military bioweapons collector attempts to cover-up an accidental release of a deadly, new strain of flu by destroying the project’s hard drive before his Russian counterpart can prove the CIA’s involvement.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 26, 2017 at 10:00 am

    Re: >>>An Obeah Woman leads a bioweapons collector into the Ta?no ?Land of Souls? to find the cure for a deadly virus he helped createFor me the hook of the story, what grabs my attention, ?is that it is a redemption story: the man must find the solution to the problem he created. ?That's aRead more

    Re:
    >>>An Obeah Woman leads a bioweapons collector into the Ta?no ?Land of Souls? to find the cure for a deadly virus he helped create

    For me the hook of the story, what grabs my attention, ?is that it is a redemption story: the man must find the solution to the problem he created. ?That’s a strong selling point and that is where I would suggest focusing the logline.

    The role of the woman while important to the full story is extraneous to the logline. ?And a distraction because, as I said in another thread, ?it is likely to leave most logline readers scratching their heads, having to google to find out who the “Obeah” are. ?Something a logline should never do. ?You only got 10 seconds to make the sale, and the clock doesn’t pause while they google.

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  2. Posted: March 25, 2017In: Action

    action,comedy about incurious uber driver forced to save the life of his next pick up who is young argumentative woman being chased by a group of terrorists.

    Kaznats Logliner
    Added an answer on March 26, 2017 at 3:56 am

    Fee or flee? ?An Uber driver's ride argues over his rates as?terrorists chase them through one misadventure after another.

    Fee or flee? ?An Uber driver’s ride argues over his rates as?terrorists chase them through one misadventure after another.

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  3. Posted: March 25, 2017In: Action

    action,comedy about incurious uber driver forced to save the life of his next pick up who is young crotchety woman being chased by a group of terrorists.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on March 25, 2017 at 10:12 am

    Young and Crotchety don't go together, An old man is crotchety; a young woman would be argumentative.

    Young and Crotchety don’t go together, An old man is crotchety; a young woman would be argumentative.

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