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In the wake of recent terrorist attacks, four female security guards are ruthlessly coerced to help carry out one of America’s deadliest assaults; one that has the potential to hurt or even kill tens of thousands.
Agreed with the above comments.I'll add by questioning the mention of gender. Both men and women are equally capable, so is their gender of any relevance to the plot?I know many people are becoming aware of gender in film and TV now, but as loglines go unless the gender has a direct impact on the acRead more
Agreed with the above comments.
I’ll add by questioning the mention of gender. Both men and women are equally capable, so is their gender of any relevance to the plot?
I know many people are becoming aware of gender in film and TV now, but as loglines go unless the gender has a direct impact on the actions it is a redundant description – you wouldn’t have specified male if it was a man. Specifying the lead as female comes across as an attempt to jump on an industry female lead trend, instead of writing a story that requires a female lead.?No problem having the MC be a woman, but that can be implied by the use of ‘her’ or ‘she’.?
Otherwise is there a better description you can use, one that could illustrate the MC’s flaw perhaps??
And for the record:
NO, I AM NOT APPOSE TO GENDER EQUALITY. NO, I AM NOT APPOSED TO FEMALE LEAD ROLES. YES, I WOULD HAVE ASKED THE SAME SHOULD THE DESCRIPTION HAVE BEEN MALE. YES, I AM WRITING A FEMALE LEAD ROLE SHOW MYSELF!!!
So hold off on chauvinist accusations.
This is purely an objective critique of a potentially redundant description just like any other.
P.S
See lessSorry, only it seems as if now day and age this kind of comment needs such a qualifier…
After his brother’s aircraft carrier is destroyed by a mysterious dirigible in the closing days of WW2, a conceited fighter-pilot leads a squadron of misfits to intercept the craft before it reaches its next target: London.
The particulars of the weapon or vehicle that killed his brother can be cut from the logline - the plot is about the MC seeking revenge and preventing others from diening.? What made this interesting, for me anyhow, was that he leads a squadron of misfits -? his challenge is two-fold stop the killinRead more
The particulars of the weapon or vehicle that killed his brother can be cut from the logline – the plot is about the MC seeking revenge and preventing others from diening.? What made this interesting, for me anyhow, was that he leads a squadron of misfits -? his challenge is two-fold stop the killing aircraft, and control a bunch of loose cannons.
Why not imbue the aircraft’s description with mystery, and leave the details for the synopsis.
My try:
See lessAfter his brother’s ship was drowned by a mysterious aircraft in WW2, a conceited fighter-pilot must lead a squadron of missfits to intercept the aircraft before it reaches London.
When a commando is waken from a coma, he learns that he’s mostly machine and his kids have been kidnapped by a powerful warlord.
Whilst I agree wholeheartedly with all of the above ... if this is done in a pastiche sort of way ... I'm in. I want my ticket. It sounds fun.
Whilst I agree wholeheartedly with all of the above … if this is done in a pastiche sort of way … I’m in. I want my ticket. It sounds fun.
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