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  1. Posted: May 20, 2016In: Action

    A civil war tears a family of gods apart causing banishment to their child who is sent to earth to learn to control her powers with the help of a young story writer who one day helps her defeat her corrupt sister.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 23, 2016 at 10:27 pm

    As ?noted by Richiev, it?reads too much like a knockoff of the "Thor" brand/franchise. ? I'm all for more super-hero movies with female leads, but ?other than the fact that the principals are women, ?what makes it ?a fresh, unique story, different from "Thor"?

    As ?noted by Richiev, it?reads too much like a knockoff of the “Thor” brand/franchise. ? I’m all for more super-hero movies with female leads, but ?other than the fact that the principals are women, ?what makes it ?a fresh, unique story, different from “Thor”?

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  2. Posted: May 1, 2016In: Action

    After losing his white collar job, an aging ex-motorcycle racer turns to street racing to pay off his debt and support his family. Climbing the racing ladder, he finds himself up against Evel Knievel, performing death defying stunts and risking everything.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 1, 2016 at 7:33 am

    Aren't street racing and stunt driving 2 distinct specialty niches? ? ?Don't they require 2 different sets of skills? ?Yes, there may be obstacles in the former, but nothing like the obstacles and hazards in stunt driving. ?And the goal in racing is get across the finish line first -- not jump 50 caRead more

    Aren’t street racing and stunt driving 2 distinct specialty niches? ? ?Don’t they require 2 different sets of skills? ?Yes, there may be obstacles in the former, but nothing like the obstacles and hazards in stunt driving. ?And the goal in racing is get across the finish line first — not jump 50 cars or across the Grand Canyon.

    Also, “aging ex-motorcycle racer” ?calculates out to about how many years? ?The great Knievel’s career was finished ?by the time he was 42. ? Age takes its inevitable toll, in the reflexes to avoid accidents and the resiliency to recover when they happen anyway.

    And wasn’t Knievel in his glory days a soloist– he wasn’t one to share the spotlight in his stunt performances with anyone else?

    Anyway, a common framework for stories like this to use a ?bookend. That is, there might be an opening scene where he has a chance to compete against Knievel. ?They’re reckless young bucks, full of alcohol, piss and big dreams. Either he loses badly. ?Or he fails to take advantage of the opportunity, ?passes it up for the safety and security of a white collar job. ?Marriage and a mortgage. ?No risk– and no glory.

    Now years later, the layoff is a trigger for him to go for glory, ?for one last chance to do what he didn’t do — didn’t have the guts to do — in his youth.

    Or whatever. ?The point is the logline should suggest that his struggle is about more than earning a living after he’s laid off. ?There’s more at stake than mere money. ?What’s at stake is his last chance to fulfill his biggest dream.

    So what is his biggest dream?

    fwiw.

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  3. Posted: April 30, 2016In: Action

    When his wife and daughter are both kidnapped and held in different locations, an emotionally stunted man must choose which one to save in a race against time.

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on May 1, 2016 at 2:29 am

    Hello, as far as I'm concerned it's not a good idea to build a logline around a choice. A choice is a matter of one scene. What will we SEE in the movie? A man thinking one hour and a half about saving his daughter or his wife :)? I'm sure this is not your story! So try to tell the true story. GoodRead more

    Hello, as far as I’m concerned it’s not a good idea to build a logline around a choice. A choice is a matter of one scene. What will we SEE in the movie? A man thinking one hour and a half about saving his daughter or his wife :)? I’m sure this is not your story! So try to tell the true story. Good luck!

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