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  1. Posted: September 29, 2015In: Action

    After he is ‘killed’ by a female undercover cop, an innocent man is ‘saved’ by a female bounty hunter who hallucinates slices of the future and must collect thr bounty on his future badass self.

    priggy Logliner
    Added an answer on September 29, 2015 at 3:05 am

    Whilst this is almost a carbon copy of your previous logline. Simplify this down. Get rid of the killed and saved in quotation marks, it confuses the reader. This might have elements similar to Memento i.e. the time slice flashes similar to memory flashes/post-it notes: "A man, suffering from short-Read more

    Whilst this is almost a carbon copy of your previous logline.

    Simplify this down. Get rid of the killed and saved in quotation marks, it confuses the reader.

    This might have elements similar to Memento i.e. the time slice flashes similar to memory flashes/post-it notes: “A man, suffering from short-term memory loss, uses notes and tattoos to hunt for the man he thinks killed his wife.”

    Find other films, TV shows that are similar and find their loglines and use those loglines as a guide to write yours.

    It should clearly mention the protagonist, the antagonist, the goal, the stakes and do so in a way that hooks us and want to read.

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  2. Posted: September 25, 2015In: Action

    A man encounters a violent, time-traveling version of himself from 10 years in the future and the dangerous group of people determined to bring them both down.

    kbfilmworks Samurai
    Added an answer on September 26, 2015 at 4:11 am

    Thanks for the comment, Geschwindt. I'm afraid of adding too much detail to avoid confusion.

    Thanks for the comment, Geschwindt. I’m afraid of adding too much detail to avoid confusion.

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