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A terrifying dream, twisted by a crafty Vizier, drives an ageing king to dispose his new-born grandson heir in the wild mountains. 18 Years later the aged king discovers the Royal Games Gladiator Winners pedigree
Who's the lead?From your logline it seems as if the aging king is the lead character, however in most stories of this nature, it's the abandoned prince who is the lead character.If the abandoned prince is the lead not the father you should rewrite the logline from the point of the prince. If the kinRead more
Who’s the lead?
From your logline it seems as if the aging king is the lead character, however in most stories of this nature, it’s the abandoned prince who is the lead character.
If the abandoned prince is the lead not the father you should rewrite the logline from the point of the prince.
If the king is the lead, you should come up with an inciting incident that isn’t 18 years in the past.
Good luck with this, hope that helped.
See lessA young man cursed by the blood of pirates that flows within him , promises his dying sister to find the famous treasure left by his father ”The lord of the oceans”.
How does the curse connect to the treasure? can only pirates ancestors find it? Is it an obstacle or does it help him in his quest? I am?very confused by this "pirate's blood" and it's significance or relevance to the story.
How does the curse connect to the treasure? can only pirates ancestors find it? Is it an obstacle or does it help him in his quest? I am?very confused by this “pirate’s blood” and it’s significance or relevance to the story.
See lessWhen the lands fairest Bride spurns an Evil Prince, he kills her father and takes her throne; but aid arrives for lone Princess from someone she never knew: her exiled mother.
Agreed with Moses, the plot is unclear and the wording is confusing. In addition it describes a deux ex machine ending - The magical mother meraculasly appears at the end to save the day. This is not as a direct result of the main character's action. Could you change it so that the princess solves tRead more
Agreed with Moses, the plot is unclear and the wording is confusing. In addition it describes a deux ex machine ending – The magical mother meraculasly appears at the end to save the day.
See lessThis is not as a direct result of the main character’s action.
Could you change it so that the princess solves the problem herself?