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?When the mellow, aging owner of a medicinal marijuana dispensary leaves his wayward son in charge of the shop, on the very day cops and criminals turn the place into a madhouse, will he side with the man who has acted like his father, or his actual blood?? ? POT SHOP by Judah Ray ?
"Cops and criminals" -- that's a dead-in-the-water phrase that says nothing about the ACTION, the inciting incident that triggers the resulting plot. What do the cops and criminals DO that kicks off the plot?>>To work for his father.That may be his initial goal, but after the cops and criminalRead more
“Cops and criminals” — that’s a dead-in-the-water phrase that says nothing about the ACTION, the inciting incident that triggers the resulting plot. What do the cops and criminals DO that kicks off the plot?
>>To work for his father.
That may be his initial goal, but after the cops and criminals do whatever they do, he must surely acquire another goal, an urgent one that becomes the backbone for the plot. ?What MUST he do when the cops and criminals do whatever they do?
>>the shop
See lessThat’s all? Shouldn’t the stakes escalate after the inciting incident?
“When he discovers his father will be fired as coach if he doesn’t bring home a championship, a popular quarterback must rally his good looking and talented team to beat the scruffy, overachieving, underdogs that, every year seem to defeat them in the final game.” -Overdogs-
Sounds like a good inciting incident and a fun romp. This could play out well as a feature film.
Sounds like a good inciting incident and a fun romp. This could play out well as a feature film.
See lessAfter his terminally ill and clinically dead bitch of a wife miraculously revives her self, a depressed man must find a way to free himself of his life long commitment.
After his terminally ill(,) and clinically dead bitch of a wife(,) miraculously revives (herself), a depressed man must find a way to (break) free of his life long commitment. Marked typos, and a recommendation, with (), otherwise sounds fantastic.
After his terminally ill(,) and clinically dead bitch of a wife(,) miraculously revives (herself), a depressed man must find a way to (break) free of his life long commitment.
Marked typos, and a recommendation, with (), otherwise sounds fantastic. See less