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  1. Posted: August 26, 2016In: Comedy

    [Revisedx2] For refusing to buy more catnip, a vengeful cat calls upon the dark arts to end an insensitive mother’s career.

    Tony Edward Samurai
    Added an answer on August 27, 2016 at 3:07 pm

    ...or here is a take with the focus on the Girl as the Protag (a bit long in the word-count...): 'A lonely young girl learns spell weaving from her magical cat in order to curse her career obsessed mother with backward speech as revenge for refusing to restock the cat?s supply of catnip.' Anyways --Read more

    …or here is a take with the focus on the Girl as the Protag (a bit long in the word-count…):

    ‘A lonely young girl learns spell weaving from her magical cat in order to curse her career obsessed mother with backward speech as revenge for refusing to restock the cat?s supply of catnip.’

    Anyways — just some ideas.

     

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  2. Posted: August 27, 2016In: Comedy

    [Revisedx3] At the worst possible moment, a girl calls upon the dark arts to teach her mother to be nicer to the cat.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on August 27, 2016 at 5:09 am

    Your previous logline attempts were better. The problem with this one, "At the worst possible moment" (Know thing from previous attempts) is from the point of view of the mother. But the lead character is the girl/cat. I liked the inciting incident where you told us her mother turns her into a cat.Read more

    Your previous logline attempts were better.

    The problem with this one, “At the worst possible moment” (Know thing from previous attempts) is from the point of view of the mother. But the lead character is the girl/cat.

    I liked the inciting incident where you told us her mother turns her into a cat. That sets up the revenge angle, which tells us the leads goal.

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  3. Posted: August 24, 2016In: Comedy

    A girl trifles with the dark arts during her mother’s career defining moment.

    [Deleted User]
    Added an answer on August 27, 2016 at 2:07 am

    Again, I posted a rewrite on one of your other revisions. Check it out and use it as a starting point. Hope it helps.

    Again, I posted a rewrite on one of your other revisions. Check it out and use it as a starting point. Hope it helps.

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