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A racially prejudices cricket fan about to lose the family hotel goes back in time with his prospective Indian son in law and must overcome his prejudices if he is to get back to his own time and save the pub.
The logic employed at the base of your concept doesn't work. If the hotel is an ancient Aboriginal sacred ground, then how would he prevent the hotel from being taken away by traveling back in time? If it isn't the case then how will traveling back in time,?prevent?him from losing the hotel in the pRead more
The logic employed at the base of your concept doesn’t work.
If the hotel is an ancient Aboriginal sacred ground, then how would he prevent the hotel from being taken away by traveling back in time?
If it isn’t the case then how will traveling back in time,?prevent?him from losing the hotel in the present for what ever reason it is that he loses it?
I think best to devise an inciting incident that forces him to take action, which logically prevents the hotel from being taken away?other wise, as DPG noted, ?the time travel element is unrelated and convoluted.
See lessLogline- A racially prejudiced cricket fan about to lose the family hotel because it has been declared aboriginal land, and he lacks funds for back rent , goes back to 1938 with his prospective Indian son in law where he finds a solution, a 1930 penny and learns his true heritage is aboriginal, but he has only 24 hours to overcome overcome mistrust and mistaken identity in a war weary Australia and he must work with his son in law if he is to survive an aboriginal curse, and and get back to his own time .
There is a lot going on in this story. Time travel, A curse, Prejudice, A fight to save his hotel, war, and apparently cricket. It's so jumbled I can't see ultimately what's at the heart of the story. Is the heart of the story saving his hotel? Is the heart of the story overcoming his prejudices? IsRead more
There is a lot going on in this story. Time travel, A curse, Prejudice, A fight to save his hotel, war, and apparently cricket. It’s so jumbled I can’t see ultimately what’s at the heart of the story. Is the heart of the story saving his hotel? Is the heart of the story overcoming his prejudices? Is the heart of the story getting back to his own time period? At it’s heart, what is this story about?
See lessA cheap con-artist attempts to outrun and outmuscle a Mexican cartel?s butcher by hiring an aspiring-but-clueless circus strongman for protection when he swindles them out of 50 million dollars.
What Nir Shelter said.And now the strongman is the pivotal character since he has been tagged to solve the con artist's problem. ?His predicament is more interesting. ?Might as well make him the protagonist, someone who unwittingly gets in deeper than he initially realized, had no idea how serious tRead more
What Nir Shelter said.
And now the strongman is the pivotal character since he has been tagged to solve the con artist’s problem. ?His predicament is more interesting. ?Might as well make him the protagonist, someone who unwittingly gets in deeper than he initially realized, had no idea how serious the threat was. Because if the con man had been honest about it, the strong man would probably have never taken the job or at the very least upped his price — demanded at least 1/2 of the take.
Also 50 million dollars seems absurdly high even for a comedy. ?His life would be in mortal danger for a fraction of that. ?But if that’s the number you want to go with, I don’t find it credible that the cartel wouldn’t send one butcher — he’d send an army of hit men to make sure the con artist was killed and the money returned.
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