Comedy – Page 188 – Logline It!

Posted: January 24, 2016In: Comedy

After a clumsy socialist teacher loses again against his smart conservative brother in the elections, he leaves regional politics frustrated only to learn from his students that he has to become more ruthless to win the next time.

dpg Singularity

Added an answer on January 25, 2016 at 5:12 am

It seems to me that? "clumsy" versus?"become more ruthless" is an incongruent match up.??A more congruent value?contrast would be??"become more ruthless"?versus? "idealistic".? Further, what?would be?galling is not only that he's losing to a conservative brother, but one who gloats about it; ?iow:?Read more

It seems to me that? “clumsy” versus?”become more ruthless” is an incongruent match up.??A more congruent value?contrast would be??”become more ruthless”?versus? “idealistic”.? Further, what?would be?galling is not only that he’s losing to a conservative brother, but one who gloats about it; ?iow:? amp up the sibling rivalry.

As in:

After repeated losing?elections to his arrogant conservative brother, an idealistic?socialist school teacher abandons his?ethical principles ?to win….

Well,? win what?? What is the office at stake?? I think that needs to be specified.

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Posted: January 21, 2016In: Comedy

When an underachieving gravedigger’s cemetery is taken over by his scorned ex-girlfriend’s Mafioso father, he must step up and expose the father’s criminal activity before he ends up planted among the daisies.

Richiev Singularity

Added an answer on January 22, 2016 at 7:14 am

This is a much better attempt. There is still a slight disconnect between the situation, 'the graveyard being taken over' and the goal, 'exposing the father'. However this is on the right track.

This is a much better attempt. There is still a slight disconnect between the situation, ‘the graveyard being taken over’ and the goal, ‘exposing the father’. However this is on the right track.

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