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When a embittered copy writer curses her job and wishes that all marketing noise, including all text to disappear, she is stunned when she notices products, billboards, signage, newspapers and even the internet turned into void blocks of empty color causing global chaos.
Why did she curse her job in the first place? What's driving her? What is her motivation? What is the inciting incident of her story? I would re draft the logline to include the answer to the above questions.
Why did she curse her job in the first place?
What’s driving her? What is her motivation? What is the inciting incident of her story?
I would re draft the logline to include the answer to the above questions.
See lessWhen a conservative man adjusts to life in a wheelchair, he suddenly finds it difficult to achieve an erection. Snubbed by his busy, self-centered wife, and desperate to reclaim his virility, he must use something he hasn?t in years: porn. (Short Film)
Hello, I think it's a good idea for a short film, just make sure to work the logic... if the man can't have an erection, porn isn't a solution. Maybe it's just because he can't have an erection for his wife that he needs porn. Avoid the word "man"... be more specific. Make clear what is the incitingRead more
Hello,
I think it’s a good idea for a short film, just make sure to work the logic… if the man can’t have an erection, porn isn’t a solution. Maybe it’s just because he can’t have an erection for his wife that he needs porn.
Avoid the word “man”… be more specific.
Make clear what is the inciting event – the wheelchair or the wife snobbing him?
and make clear where is the source of conflict (or there is no story: a man is snobbed by his wife, he watches porn -end of the story) ?You can make the logline shorter, something like:
“When a conservative teologist on?a wheelchair is snobbed by his wife, he’ll find that to acces porn isn’t easy as he thought”, if the story is about a man on a wheelchair who need to access porn (visually, what action take place in the story).
Psychologically, I won’t put the blame on the wife, maybe it’s the man who feel unconfortable on his wheelchair and feels like he can’t love anymore, like he’s inadequate (a more complex character).
See lessSeries Logline: A quirky, man crazy, thirty-something turns her life upside down to find out why she is loveless and unlucky in New York City.
When working spec on a series best to start by drafting a logline for the pilot. It is this episode that will set the tone, look, feel, episode structure and most importantly of all the ongoing premise of the series. What happens to the MC in the first episode that forces her to need to achieve someRead more
When working spec on a series best to start by drafting a logline for the pilot. It is this episode that will set the tone, look, feel, episode structure and most importantly of all the ongoing premise of the series.
What happens to the MC in the first episode that forces her to need to achieve something?? In other words what is the inciting incident and goal in the first ep?
Hope this helps.
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