Comedy – Page 46 – Logline It!

Posted: April 8, 2020In: Comedy

A very old and dying president, A secret services chief and the commander chief of the military of a dictatorship gathered in secrecy to discuss the future of the country and the matters of power succesion. They will come to realize that schemes and plots are at play and they don’t share the same vision of how a governement should be

Trix Samurai

Added an answer on April 8, 2020 at 7:30 pm

Hi AO31, It reads like you're still working through an idea here... there is a potential clash of objectives but as Richiev has asked, who are we following? ?Why? ?What for? ?It's hard to comment on it as it stands as we can guess there's conflict in the meeting, but that's about it. ?My thoughts arRead more

Hi AO31,

It reads like you’re still working through an idea here… there is a potential clash of objectives but as Richiev has asked, who are we following? ?Why? ?What for? ?It’s hard to comment on it as it stands as we can guess there’s conflict in the meeting, but that’s about it. ?My thoughts are:

‘A dying president’ – drop the ‘very old’…
It reads as though they are all in a dictatorship? ?If so, wouldn’t the president simply ‘dictate’ what will happen, end of story?
Choose who we are following – who has the most to lose/gain? ?Who would change the most by the end of the story?
Give us what they are worried about/what they find out using the meeting – what are the plots and schemes? ?Better still, maybe pick one? ?Is there a specific person scheming against them that could be your antagonist? ?Or are they going to fight each other?

In all time, but especially times like these, there will be a massive appetite for seeing behind the curtains of dictatorships around the world. ?I think you are looking at a really interesting area – we just need to know why. ?Giving us the outline of your story will help people comment further.

Regards
Trix

See less

0

Share
Share

Posted: April 4, 2020In: Comedy, Examples

A neurotic actor, struggling to perform in a Chekhov play, has his soul temporarily extracted and rents a Russian one. Success– rave reviews! Now he must find and reclaim his soul which has been stolen and implanted in someone else.

dpg Singularity

Added an answer on April 7, 2020 at 12:58 am

As I indicated, this is not an easy film to logline. I originally thought only to post a logline with the story hook.? Just the 1st sentence that lays down the set up: A neurotic actor, struggling to perform in a Chekhov play, has his soul temporarily extracted and rents a Russian one. The 2nd senteRead more

As I indicated, this is not an easy film to logline. I originally thought only to post a logline with the story hook.? Just the 1st sentence that lays down the set up:

A neurotic actor, struggling to perform in a Chekhov play, has his soul temporarily extracted and rents a Russian one.

The 2nd sentence refers to the MPR moment.

Actually, the first sentence doesn’t really convey how the plot unfolds.? Here’s the sequence of plot beats:

1]INITIAL SITUATION: the actor is floundering in rehearsals to play Uncle Vanya.
2]INCITING INCIDENT: At tip from his agent about a New Yorker article on soul extraction directs him to a consultation.
3] DEBATE AND INDECISION: After learning more and overcoming his doubts and concerns…
4]END OF ACT ONE: He crosses the threshold, has his ineffectual soul extracted and stored.

5]BUT (complication):? Not having a soul to put into the role only makes his performance worse.
6] In desperation, he rents the soul of a female Russian poet.
7] Now he’s able to give a soulful performance. Success!
8]BUT (complication): he develops an allergic reaction: the Russian poet’s soul is too great to dwell in a mediocre person such as the actor.? So he must return it and regain his own soul.
9]MPR:? He goes to retrieve his soul from storage, discovers it’s gone.

See less