1. Posted: December 25, 2019In:

    When a misogynistic Indian husband loses his IT job, he is forced to work in a team reporting to his wife in her organisation, to pay for mortgage.

    Best Answer
    kpetrakis01 Logliner

    One little thing that may add is to specify what his wife's company is - for example - is it some sort of feminine manufacturing product, or cleaning service or something that would also conflict with his conception of being a man. Otherwise, sounds like a good idea.

    One little thing that may add is to specify what his wife’s company is – for example – is it some sort of feminine manufacturing product, or cleaning service or something that would also conflict with his conception of being a man. Otherwise, sounds like a good idea.

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  2. Posted: December 16, 2019In:

    When a man seeking popularity is rejected by society by being forced into a cursed ghost costume, he must learn to live independently in order to remove it before he’s permanently trapped and forgotten.

    dpg Singularity

    Scott:I've been thinking about this exchange and want to clarify a point or two.I applaud your desire to come with a novel take on a familiar human problem.? There's nothing new under the sun about human nature, so what movie makers are looking for is a fresh perspective, a unique story angle.But thRead more

    Scott:

    I’ve been thinking about this exchange and want to clarify a point or two.

    I applaud your desire to come with a novel take on a familiar human problem.? There’s nothing new under the sun about human nature, so what movie makers are looking for is a fresh perspective, a unique story angle.

    But the story premise in a logline must not only be original, it must also be credible. It must not be confusing.? It must be easy to understand on the first reading.? (Because 99% of the time, a logline will only get one reading.? It has 10-12 seconds to grab attention, make complete sense, make someone want to read the script.)

    That is an especially tall order for a logline set in an unfamiliar world (SciFi or Fantasy) with a different set of rules than the normal world.? Or that entails a story that requires some “movie magic” , a special circumstance that would never occur in the real world.? In the case of this logline, that seems to be the existence of a “ghost costume” in which a person can be imprisoned, invisible, isolated from human contact.

    So yeah, this premise is caught in a double bind:? it’s different — but it’s confusing.? That’s how I read it, that’s the concern I have.?? It didn’t make sense to me on the 1st reading… nor the 2nd… nor the 3rd.

    Just saying.? Others mileage may vary.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: December 9, 2019In: , ,

    When an all-work-no-play high school valedictorian who has gotten into an A-list college discovers her party-animal peers also got into A-list colleges, she resolves to cram four years of fun into one night.

    dpg Singularity

    Wdcurry:Your mind is in the right zone to think of the sequel potential of a premise.? In writing loglines for plots that are already done deals, made movies, I am occasionally torn between? a version that reflects the way I wish the script could have/should have been written and the way it actuallyRead more

    Wdcurry:

    Your mind is in the right zone to think of the sequel potential of a premise.? In writing loglines for plots that are already done deals, made movies, I am occasionally torn between? a version that reflects the way I wish the script could have/should have been written and the way it actually was.

    Your version leads with what? I consider to be the most important element in a logline, the story hook.? And then it follows up with the inciting incident.? The first thing I try to identify is the inciting incident and that usually becomes the lead in the logline.? Out of habit and because that is the common practice.? And? because many times the story hook is embedded in the inciting incident (When a shark starts attacking vacationers at a beach resort…).

    But in this case, the story hook is what the protagonist does in response to the inciting incident.?? And that is what I should have led off with.? You did — two thumbs up.

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