1. Posted: April 9, 2019In:

    In search of the ‘ultimate high’, a gang of high school misfits skip school set on finding an abandoned cannabis crop all while trying to evade a pair of obsessive truant officers.

    Best Answer
    Robb Ross Samurai

    Very good start.The plot can be a little sharper. If this is "Pineapple Express with teens," then definitely go with the growers or other bigger antags. But if it's "Superbad with pot," meaning it's? about the quest to the location (which they reach in Act III), then the truant officers... seem okayRead more

    Very good start.

    The plot can be a little sharper. If this is “Pineapple Express with teens,” then definitely go with the growers or other bigger antags. But if it’s “Superbad with pot,” meaning it’s? about the quest to the location (which they reach in Act III), then the truant officers… seem okay. Try to add another sense of the trouble along the way, if it’s a quest. Same with an issue for the protag or co-leads, as in the two movies mentioned and as Mike mentions.

    Add a sense of location.

    >> In search of the ultimate high

    This can be cut and replaced with a description of the crop being a new strain or such. Or they don’t care about the quality, it’s about a huge amount of free weed.

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  2. Posted: April 5, 2019In:

    After an altercation over some pocket change escalates, a failed actor inadvertently takes another man hostage and must now reach the public in order to avoid arrest.

    Robb Ross Samurai

    Getting there...Is this a short? If a feature, the logline needs more meat on the bone. For instance, why is the crowd his concern when the police are minutes away? What does he do most of the time or why does this last long?Are we supposed to root for the guy or relate to his frustration and enjoyRead more

    Getting there…

    Is this a short? If a feature, the logline needs more meat on the bone. For instance, why is the crowd his concern when the police are minutes away? What does he do most of the time or why does this last long?

    Are we supposed to root for the guy or relate to his frustration and enjoy the trainwreck? Right now it leans to the latter, but without the enjoyment part.? If we’re to root for the guy, consider that he’s victimized in some way.

    Still not clear what being an actor does for the story. As for talentless…does he know he’s talentless?

    With the next adjustments, look to highlight what exactly is the hook and what exactly makes this funny.

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  3. Posted: March 31, 2019In:

    Upon watching a man taking another one hostage in broad daylight, an event planner on a job interview decides to prove his skills by turning the situation into a beautiful celebration.

    dpg Singularity

    Robb Ross raise several good points.And the logline lacks a required piece of information:? what is the event planner's objective goal, what is his purpose?? Is it a? selfless scheme to rescue the victim?? Or a selfish publicity stunt, to market himself?

    Robb Ross raise several good points.

    And the logline lacks a required piece of information:? what is the event planner’s objective goal, what is his purpose?? Is it a? selfless scheme to rescue the victim?? Or a selfish publicity stunt, to market himself?

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