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Upside down in a binge, Hank Thomson loses a key that came with a cat that nobody wanted, putting his unborn child in danger; Bad luck for Hank since that cat?s key belongs to a trinity of badass’ that will kill the woman carrying his future. “So just remember, Hank!”
Wording is important. You say nobody wants the cat, but then say, the cat is owned by not one, but three bad guys and they trusted the cat so much they put a mysterious key on it, and now they are desperately looking for the cat and key. So the story sounds interesting. But the logline is confusingRead more
Wording is important. You say nobody wants the cat, but then say, the cat is owned by not one, but three bad guys and they trusted the cat so much they put a mysterious key on it, and now they are desperately looking for the cat and key.
So the story sounds interesting. But the logline is confusing and probably doesn’t do your story justice.
See less“When he discovers his multi-million dollar trust fund is locked away behind legal red tape, a broke Nigerian Prince uses the internet in order to convince highly pessimistic Americans to help him raise the money, so his funds will be released.”—- (Practice Logline)—- Title: Trust me (Maybe-Go fund me)
Another way this might be clarified is that he starts honest and soon sees the scam (a friend or relative does it) as his best chance at the money. It could also be his last hope after other things fail. But again, what would be the story after that? If the spoiled part remains, then the stakes of mRead more
Another way this might be clarified is that he starts honest and soon sees the scam (a friend or relative does it) as his best chance at the money. It could also be his last hope after other things fail. But again, what would be the story after that?
If the spoiled part remains, then the stakes of money might work if this is clarified as a wrong pursuit (where he learns near the end of the script to use the money for others and not himself).
See lessComedic Drama Tv series: When a Nigerian foreign exchange student moves in with a white suburban, American family, cultural differences and close minded town ideals turns the once home, into a house of unrelated individuals
Good start.Black-white feels old and soft. Is there more to it?? Assuming it's America, is there any thought of an Arab or Mexican student?Can't imagine the parents letting it get so far, they'd end the exchange agreement and arrange for another family to take him, no? It's not like an adopted childRead more
Good start.
Black-white feels old and soft. Is there more to it?? Assuming it’s America, is there any thought of an Arab or Mexican student?
Can’t imagine the parents letting it get so far, they’d end the exchange agreement and arrange for another family to take him, no? It’s not like an adopted child.
Add a paragraph to mention the key characters and their situations.
Is this a one-hour show or half hour? If the latter, any thought about the format…single-camera or multi? This will help with the mental picture and tone.
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