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An arrogant tattoo artist sets off on a cross country journey to track his missing girlfriend only to unravel memories he is refusing to acknowledge.
For me - the profession is neither here nor there-- the issue is in the vagueness of the complication -- "...only to unravel memories he is refusing to acknowledge...". Without this being specified I don't really know what this is about (the core function of a logline...) other than a dude (and an aRead more
For me – the profession is neither here nor there– the issue is in the vagueness of the complication — “…only to unravel memories he is refusing to acknowledge…”. Without this being specified I don’t really know what this is about (the core function of a logline…) other than a dude (and an arrogant one at that…) trying to track down his (current?) girlfriend… which is kinda ‘blerrr’. Definitely has potential if you can give us more of what the complication is… or put another way — at the moment there is no “Why..?”
Best of luck with it 🙂
See lessWhen an all-work-no-play high school valedictorian who has gotten into an A-list college discovers her party-animal peers also got into A-list colleges, she resolves to cram four years of fun into one night.
Wdcurry:Your mind is in the right zone to think of the sequel potential of a premise.? In writing loglines for plots that are already done deals, made movies, I am occasionally torn between? a version that reflects the way I wish the script could have/should have been written and the way it actuallyRead more
Wdcurry:
Your mind is in the right zone to think of the sequel potential of a premise.? In writing loglines for plots that are already done deals, made movies, I am occasionally torn between? a version that reflects the way I wish the script could have/should have been written and the way it actually was.
Your version leads with what? I consider to be the most important element in a logline, the story hook.? And then it follows up with the inciting incident.? The first thing I try to identify is the inciting incident and that usually becomes the lead in the logline.? Out of habit and because that is the common practice.? And? because many times the story hook is embedded in the inciting incident (When a shark starts attacking vacationers at a beach resort…).
But in this case, the story hook is what the protagonist does in response to the inciting incident.?? And that is what I should have led off with.? You did — two thumbs up.
See lessInspired by true events, in 1973 a precocious 15-year old boy gets a writing gig from Rolling Stone magazine that sends him on a wild cross-country bus Odyssey with a struggling rock band.
Great film and good choice. Could also be interesting to prioritise the love interest as the 'A' plot: After landing a writing assignment, a 15 year old aspiring writer falls in love with a roady following the band he was tasked to cover and must woo her away from the clutches of the lead singer.
Great film and good choice. Could also be interesting to prioritise the love interest as the ‘A’ plot:
After landing a writing assignment, a 15 year old aspiring writer falls in love with a roady following the band he was tasked to cover and must woo her away from the clutches of the lead singer.
See less