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In an effort to track down his estranged girlfriend and reconnect with her, a recovering alcoholic embarks on a cross-country journey that turns out to be poignant discovery into his past.
This is the third version of my logline. Here are the first and the second versions: 1. An arrogant tattoo artist sets off on a cross country journey to track his missing girlfriend only to unravel memories he is refusing to acknowledge. 2. During a cross-country journey to track his missing girlfriRead more
This is the third version of my logline. Here are the first and the second versions:
1. An arrogant tattoo artist sets off on a cross country journey to track his missing girlfriend only to unravel memories he is refusing to acknowledge.
See less2. During a cross-country journey to track his missing girlfriend Nisha, Dhondup finds himself reluctantly involved in the lives of people who all seem to have a connection to her in some way.
When children discover a catastrophic battlefield in every human brain where the devil imprisoned God for ages, Buddha teams up with each prophet to liberate God from an age-old hypocritical mindset to engender recession and a stress-free psychic existence.
This appears to be two separate events: 1. “When children discover a catastrophic battlefield in every human brain” 2. “Buddha teams up with each prophet” Who are these children - prophets? If so, I would state to link these two events. Example: “When the child prophets of Buddha discover a catastroRead more
This appears to be two separate events:
1. “When children discover a catastrophic battlefield in every human brain”
2. “Buddha teams up with each prophet”
Who are these children – prophets? If so, I would state to link these two events.
Example:
“When the child prophets of Buddha discover a catastrophic battlefield in every human brain, Buddha teams up to liberate God from an age-old hypocritical mindset to engender recession and a stress-free psychic existence”
Suggestion: “every human brain” sounds like a vast wasteland and hard to envision what this would look like on screen, maybe you can start by changing one influential person to bring this premise closer to home?
Also, I didn’t mention “devil imprisoned God for ages” to keep the reader from saying “why now” after all these ages? I wanted the impression of these children’s discovery as a “now” concept.
Take care.
See lessSix interwined stories about high school students dealing with bullies and high school cliques.
For a story that is a multi-stranded narrative, the logline must be framed around the theme of the story. What is the theme here?
For a story that is a multi-stranded narrative, the logline must be framed around the theme of the story. What is the theme here?
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