Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
An artistic high schooler must choose between following her own dreams and attending med school with her teenage crush turned boyfriend while struggling to live up to her mother’s expectations.
Interesting premise, think about the following to strengthen your logline. What does “follow her dreams” look like? What drives her? E.g., the illuminating crafts of stained glass or becoming a contemporary artist in X. I dig your crossroads: - Heartstrings are being tugged by a longtime crush-turneRead more
Interesting premise, think about the following to strengthen your logline.
What does “follow her dreams” look like? What drives her? E.g., the illuminating crafts of stained glass or becoming a contemporary artist in X.
I dig your crossroads:
– Heartstrings are being tugged by a longtime crush-turned-boyfriend heading to med school.
– Mom wants a DR or another DR as medicine runs in the family.
All parents have expectations for their younglings, think about increasing the conflict by making this mother domineering or that she was “groomed” for med school.
Take care.
See lessA socially disconnected bartender makes a connection with the odd new beer deliver guy. He struggles to develop his new friendship as his old stuck-up friends hold him back.
Leaning towards: "A bartender’s world turns topsy-turvy when he embarks on a relationship with an oddball beer delivery guy" Take care.
Leaning towards:
“A bartender’s world turns topsy-turvy when he embarks on a relationship with an oddball beer delivery guy”
Take care.
See lessA 12 year-old drug dealer evades his police officer mother as the opioid crisis comes to town.
Protagonist: 12 year-old drug dealer. Protagonist could perhaps benefit with a little bit more description. For example, other than his drug dealing, what are his mannerisms? Tell me something about his personality to help me better envision this character. Protagonist goal: Evading his police officRead more
Protagonist: 12 year-old drug dealer. Protagonist could perhaps benefit with a little bit more description. For example, other than his drug dealing, what are his mannerisms? Tell me something about his personality to help me better envision this character.
Protagonist goal: Evading his police officer mother in midst of a opioid crisis. Evasion alone isn’t much of a goal. I can gather that the character was motivated by making easy money, but there isn’t much that stands out here. You need a compelling goal for the protagonist that the target audience is going to relate to. Evasion alone isn’t enough, especially when the protagonist has nowhere he wants to go in particular.
Antagonist: The protagonist’s mother happens to be a police officer.
Genre: Comedy / drama. Drama aside, nothing of this logline suggests comedy. The only perplexing element of this logline is that the antagonist is the protagonist’s mother, but not even that is enough to convey comedy is present. The best way I imagine one would suggest comedy in a logline would be to describe something that is blatantly ironic. Whether it be a character trait or a situation in question, irony is a good means of conveying comedy.
Inciting Incident: There is none.
Lastly the logline has plenty of room to grow. Lets assume you are limited by a 25 word length, if that’s the case you have another 7-8 words to play with (depending how you count hyphenated words). A lot can be said in 25 words, and with that I would suggest writing a similar logline but structure it in different ways. Make sure to include an Inciting Incident as it is one of the most impactful elements of a logline if implemented properly.
See less