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An Indian woman returning to modern India during the heat of the mango season after almost a decade in the US is forced to choose between her lover and a traditional arranged marriage.
Hi, After reading the Logline I noticed it’s missing a few elements. I understand it’s a young Indian women returning home, then choosing between two men. It’s missing the conflict and antagonist force. What’s the thing jolts the protagonist life apart and what’s getting in her way. I would leave ouRead more
Hi,
See lessAfter reading the Logline I noticed it’s missing a few elements. I understand it’s a young Indian women returning home, then choosing between two men. It’s missing the conflict and antagonist force. What’s the thing jolts the protagonist life apart and what’s getting in her way.
I would leave out the modern India, of its set in the past that would be in the Logline. In addition during the heat of the mango season. Unless there is specific reason why. For example a festival or family business. Then use that instead.
A witty young man resists showing affection, but when his old friend turns out to be in dire need, he must let his emotional guard down.
Two issues with wording 1: "When his old friend turns out to be in dire need." Be specific. When his old friend angers the Mob. When his old friend is diagnosed with cancer when his old friend becomes addicted to hentai. What specifically is his old friend's dire need of? 2: "He must let his emotionRead more
Two issues with wording
1: “When his old friend turns out to be in dire need.” Be specific.
When his old friend angers the Mob.
When his old friend is diagnosed with cancer
when his old friend becomes addicted to hentai.
What specifically is his old friend’s dire need of?
2: “He must let his emotional guard down?” So, letting his emotional guard down will solve his friend’s dire need? How does letting your emotional guard down solve someone’s specific problem?
I owe a bookie 50k… I will solve this by letting down my emotional guard?
I am on trial for murder… I can solve this problem by letting down my emotional guard.
I am in dire need because I can’t read… No problem this can be solved by me letting down my emotional guard.
What specifically must the lead do to solve his friend’s dire problem????
See lessAfter the death of his twin sister, a struggling teen slips into a fantasy world of denial. Taking on a mythic adventure, the ensuing clash of values with local tyrant businessman, resolves a 40-year-old mystery at the heart of his communities suffering.
In this fantasy world, what form does the tyrant businessman take? Does the antagonist become the king of the fantasy land, an invading warlord, or an evil dragon that must be slain? What does the conflict look like, what are the actions your lead character must take to achieve his goal? "After hisRead more
In this fantasy world, what form does the tyrant businessman take?
Does the antagonist become the king of the fantasy land, an invading warlord, or an evil dragon that must be slain?
What does the conflict look like, what are the actions your lead character must take to achieve his goal?
“After his twin sister dies, a struggling teen slips into a fantasy world where the tyrant businessman who caused his sibling’s death transforms into a firebreathing dragon which he must slay to save the land.”
See less