1. Posted: October 29, 2021In:

    A small-town news anchor accidentally uncovers a deadly bombshell secret on live TV, forcing her to find the truth that will save the town.

    Odie Samurai

    Consider the following: What is the deadly bombshell she’s reporting on? This will shed light on her truth/hero’s journey to save her beloved town. The rule of “Show, don’t tell” applies here, as I cannot envision what your “secret” will look like on-screen. FYI: this gives me an Erin Brockovich vibRead more

    Consider the following:
    What is the deadly bombshell she’s reporting on? This will shed light on her truth/hero’s journey to save her beloved town. The rule of “Show, don’t tell” applies here, as I cannot envision what your “secret” will look like on-screen.

    FYI: this gives me an Erin Brockovich vibe, I’m probably way off, but this will give you an idea of what a reader may deduce from your current logline.

    Hope you find this constructive, keep going!

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  2. Posted: October 14, 2021In:

    Coerced into losing, a past his prime boxer desperate to redeem his past must regain his boxing license to compete in a final fight of his life for the last, most precious payday, custody of his kidnapped son.

    Best Answer
    [Deleted User]

    "A past his prime boxer...(character) ....desperate for one last payday to find and win custody of his son ("Actionable Goal" but not sure why his payday is going to find or win his son back?), ....discovers he is the target of a con. (This doesn't feel like a major event) Suggested Example: "A pastRead more

    “A past his prime boxer…(character)

    ….desperate for one last payday to find and win custody of his son (“Actionable Goal” but not sure why his payday is going to find or win his son back?),

    ….discovers he is the target of a con. (This doesn’t feel like a major event)

    Suggested Example: “A past his prime boxer is coaxed into an underground “fight of his life” competition to win back a precious bounty, his son.”

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  3. Posted: October 29, 2021In:

    A down on his luck drug dealer on the run from the law and the mob is embroiled as a piece in somebody else’s puzzle.

    [Deleted User]

    This logline has a ton of potential and already piqued my interest! We have the protagonist, "A down on his luck drug dealer" but it's not clear what is the action/goal is of the protagonist or what is the major event that establishes what this drug dealer's goal should be.

    This logline has a ton of potential and already piqued my interest! We have the protagonist, “A down on his luck drug dealer” but it’s not clear what is the action/goal is of the protagonist or what is the major event that establishes what this drug dealer’s goal should be.

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