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  1. Posted: April 24, 2020In: Crime

    A Lieutenant in a drug gang, misreads a situation killing his boss. This sparks an internal war eventually leading to the destruction of his gang, his death and the loss of their terroritary.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on May 9, 2020 at 8:57 am

    After killing his boss, driven by his girlfriend and a misunderstanding, a drug dealer embarks on a bloody coup, ambition isn?t enough resulting in his death and the destruction of the gang he aimed to control.   Going back through the script. He is stuck in a bubble. He can?t see the bigger piRead more

    After killing his boss, driven by his girlfriend and a misunderstanding, a drug dealer embarks on a bloody coup, ambition isn?t enough resulting in his death and the destruction of the gang he aimed to control.

     

    Going back through the script. He is stuck in a bubble. He can?t see the bigger picture. He was unsure if he should do what he thought he was told to do. ?Driven by his girlfriend (in it for free drugs and ambition), he does kill his boss. But the gang goes into free fall as he doesn?t know how to step up. ?As the gang begins to implode he sees an opportunity to take control but a few people stand in his way.

    From the likability situation. Think of it like a slasher film. Everyone know Freddie, Jason, Jigsaw. ?We have empathy for their victims. ?After all there is a series called the ?walking dead? not ?people trying to survive other people and avoid zombies?.

    Thanks again.

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  2. Posted: March 29, 2020In: Crime

    A radio host finds herself caught between a mob boss, her boyfriend, a prostitute, drug lord and a CIA agent through a drug deal gone wrong.

    Tony Byrd Penpusher
    Added an answer on March 30, 2020 at 1:21 am

    I revised it.

    I revised it.

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  3. Posted: March 24, 2020In: Crime

    A desolate fugitive is forced out of hiding when his vengeful ex-partner in crime kidnaps his son.

    harry Logliner
    Added an answer on March 25, 2020 at 8:41 pm

    'Desolate', as an adjective applied to a person means they are 'wretched or greatly unhappy'. Why is the hero so unhappy before his son is kidnapped? Considering he is in hiding, did you mean 'reclusive'? In general, the story you describe is too generic. I feel like I've seen this movie a million tRead more

    ‘Desolate’, as an adjective applied to a person means they are ‘wretched or greatly unhappy’. Why is the hero so unhappy before his son is kidnapped? Considering he is in hiding, did you mean ‘reclusive’?

    In general, the story you describe is too generic. I feel like I’ve seen this movie a million times in one form or another.

    Try and spice it up by suggesting a greater struggle for the hero, e.g. he’s a successful fugitive living in Mexico and must cross back across the border and risk being caught by the FBI in order to rescue his son from his vengeful ex-partner in crime.

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