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After falling in debt to a crime family, a cocky mechanic is forced to strip stolen cars for an auto-garage, but when his love interest is killed in a hit-and-run caused by the family’s erratic nephew, he turns the family against itself to seek vengeance and escape the debt.
Great start. I like revenge stories and especially when there's something fresh about them.>>a cocky mechanicWhat's the intent behind cocky? A guy taking revenge indirectly doesn't sound cocky and he doesn't feel so ironic in that predicament. With the predicament he's in and the indirect planRead more
Great start. I like revenge stories and especially when there’s something fresh about them.
>>a cocky mechanic
What’s the intent behind cocky? A guy taking revenge indirectly doesn’t sound cocky and he doesn’t feel so ironic in that predicament. With the predicament he’s in and the indirect plan, a significant flaw doesn’t even feel necessary. Was it considered to go with a trait or talent that would shed light on how he would turn the family against itself? In other words, to differentiate this more from the first Punisher movie.
>>After falling in debt to a crime family,
>>is forced to strip stolen cars for an auto-garage,
These can be combined and shortened since the real hook starts when the love interest is killed.
>>to seek vengeance and escape the debt.
Escaping the debt is understood with the vengeance.
Does it pay specifying the main antag?
My two cents.
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In a world of magic and poker a player meets a friend of his dead father and..... This is how a logline works. The quickest way through a story
In a world of magic and poker a player meets a friend of his dead father and…..
This is how a logline works.
The quickest way through a story
See lessThis is my logline for a short from spanish to english
Transport as in drive the body from the hospital or morgue to a funeral home? Or, transport as in an illegal activity of some sort?? If the former then I'm not sure what the story is - transport the body job done. If the latter, why would he agree to do the job? And why would the audience care aboutRead more
Transport as in drive the body from the hospital or morgue to a funeral home? Or, transport as in an illegal activity of some sort?? If the former then I’m not sure what the story is – transport the body job done. If the latter, why would he agree to do the job? And why would the audience care about a character who agreed to work for such horrible people?
Other than that, I would say the concept needs an event to compel the main character to need to take the job – other wise, it’s not clear why he MUST do what he does.
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