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When her amnesiac daughter awakens next to a headless, burnt corpse in the woods, a bipolar detective must uncover the secrets of a small town and its paranormal history, to find out the truth and prove her daughter?s innocence.
I like it, this really sounds interesting. Well done! I would shorten the logline and add a bit of tension between the daughter and mother (why not...): After her estranged daughter wakes up beside a headless corpse, a bipolar detective must uncover the paranormal secrets of a small town to prove heRead more
I like it, this really sounds interesting.
Well done!
I would shorten the logline and add a bit of tension between the daughter and mother (why not…):
After her estranged daughter wakes up beside a headless corpse, a bipolar detective must uncover the paranormal secrets of a small town to prove her daughter?s innocence.
The sizzle (I’m looking at you DPG…) here is her daughter being in trouble with paranormal stuff, therefore, best you cut anything that isn’t necessary to describe that. As far as the plot goes, finding out the truth is implicit in her primary goal – to prove the daughter innocent, so you don’t need it in the logline.
All the best developing this concept.
See lessWhen a bipolar girl mysteriously awakens next to the body of her mother in the woods with no recollection of what happened, a troubled detective must dig deep into the secrets of a small town and its paranormal history, to find out the truth and prove the girl?s innocence.
Agreed with all the above notes. I'll add that most good who dun it stories give the detective a personal stake in solving the crime. In this case, he or she is a detective and according to the current version of the logline, this is just another day on the job. What is it about this particular caseRead more
Agreed with all the above notes.
I’ll add that most good who dun it stories give the detective a personal stake in solving the crime. In this case, he or she is a detective and according to the current version of the logline, this is just another day on the job. What is it about this particular case that makes it more interesting than just any other case he or she had to solve?
See lessAfter murdering an immigrant, he convinces his psychiatrist to declare him insane so as not to be put on trial, but a detective will follow his steps to lock him up.
As the others have pointed out, best you focus on one main character and change the premise so it makes logical sense in the current legal system. Also, I suggest you check out the 'Formula' tab on the top bar to learn more about logline basics.
As the others have pointed out, best you focus on one main character and change the premise so it makes logical sense in the current legal system.
Also, I suggest you check out the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar to learn more about logline basics.
See less