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A drug-addicted thief hatches a plot to steal a cure from Big Pharma mercenaries when his mother?s chemo loses funding.
How about changing the order of events, as Richiev suggested, and specifying his action with more detail: After his mother's chemo therapy looses funding, a professional thief must break into a big Pharmaceutical company's central lab to steal enough of the drug to keep her alive until after his wedRead more
How about changing the order of events, as Richiev suggested, and specifying his action with more detail:
After his mother’s chemo therapy looses funding, a professional thief must break into a big Pharmaceutical company’s central lab to steal enough of the drug to keep her alive until after his wedding.
I tried adding in a time frame with the whole wedding thing.
See lessAfter completing prison term and reuniting with his loving wife a man wanted to choose the righteous path only to find his wife wants him to murder someone for the last time to bring her to justice.
As noted, ?the logline is vague and the man's motivation doesn't seem credible or compelling. ?Why does the wife need "justice"? ?And why would he agree to do it? (Just because she's his wife doesn't seem to be a sufficient reason.) ?What are the stakes for him? ?What does he stand to gain -- need tRead more
As noted, ?the logline is vague and the man’s motivation doesn’t seem credible or compelling. ?Why does the wife need “justice”? ?And why would he agree to do it? (Just because she’s his wife doesn’t seem to be a sufficient reason.) ?What are the stakes for him? ?What does he stand to gain — need to gain — by acceding to her demand?
See lessAn impoverished teen drug mule threaten to inform by Police must find a way to get out of the business and save her sister being held as collateral.
Philosophy aside, I understand the point you made clear in the first instance. The "good person does a bad thing for the right reason" theme can still be used in your story, however I believe that the plot isn't working. The list of beats you posted above do not come across as a sound structure to mRead more
Philosophy aside, I understand the point you made clear in the first instance. The “good person does a bad thing for the right reason” theme can still be used in your story, however I believe that the plot isn’t working.
The list of beats you posted above do not come across as a sound structure to me, perhaps it would be more beneficial to take into account the comments given and consider re structuring the plot. The main character can still be a “bad” person or not likable, but their story needs to be compelling in its motivation and stakes, to do this a re structuring the plot will likely help.
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