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After he?s hired on a potential bank fraud job,a budding young investigator discovers all clues lead to himself and must track down the impostor as his sworn enemy and former boss is hired on same.
Why is the bank fraud only a potential? Best to make it a bank fraud job and make the stakes higher with real criminals.The second half of the sentence has many grammar errors in it as well as a few logic flaw that make it hard to understand. Is the 'impostor' he must track down the one who committeRead more
Why is the bank fraud only a potential? Best to make it a bank fraud job and make the stakes higher with real criminals.
The second half of the sentence has many grammar errors in it as well as a few logic flaw that make it hard to understand.
Is the ‘impostor’ he must track down the one who committed the bank fraud? Did you mean the one who tried to incriminate him? If so best to specify this as there was no mention of identity theft prior to this in the logline. Secondly is his former boss his sworn enemy as well and is this the same person who is trying to incriminate him?
Does he need to clear his name, catch the real bad guy or stop his sworn enemy or boss?
The plot is unclear because of the confusing elements above, best to specify one antagonist and one goal.
See lessA private investigator must uncover the truth behind the murder of a rich doctor in a remote country mansion, but is perplexed by stories of a Welsh phantom haunting the residence.
Why must he uncover the truth? What is the inciting incident? The logline doesn't dramatize the motivating event that pushed the main character to do what he or she does. If all the main character is doing is their job then the story will be rather weak, is there an event out of the ordinary that haRead more
Why must he uncover the truth? What is the inciting incident?
The logline doesn’t dramatize the motivating event that pushed the main character to do what he or she does.
If all the main character is doing is their job then the story will be rather weak, is there an event out of the ordinary that happens to this investigator which propels them into the plot?
See lessA successful man feels he?s got everything, but his life goal is to win the Olympic Games in 2016. He competes in swimming freestyle. He won?t win a single race in first place until he discovers steroids. He embraces the drug and takes the 1st place. But his conscience won?t let him live in peace. After 3 months, he is demanded for having injected the drug in order to win the race.
The logline seems to give away the ending?, something a logline should never do.? And what does "demanded" mean?? Does he lose his victory medal because he got caught in a post-race drug test or because he voluntarily confessed to taking steroids?
The logline seems to give away the ending?, something a logline should never do.? And what does “demanded” mean?? Does he lose his victory medal because he got caught in a post-race drug test or because he voluntarily confessed to taking steroids?
See less