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  1. Posted: November 5, 2019In: Drama

    An ex-con out to kill the reformed paedophile he believes murdered his child, falls for the man’s protective sister – and must pick a side when town hysteria reaches boiling point.

    thedarkhorse Samurai
    Added an answer on November 5, 2019 at 7:04 pm

    The dilemma: 1. Kill a potentially innocent man. Lose the girl. Go back to prison. His inability to let go of the past wins. Gives into his violence - his worst self. He becomes the villain. (Ironically, he also becomes the town hero.) or 2. Defend a potentially guilty man. Get the girl. Fight a mobRead more

    The dilemma:

    1. Kill a potentially innocent man. Lose the girl. Go back to prison. His inability to let go of the past wins. Gives into his violence – his worst self. He becomes the villain. (Ironically, he also becomes the town hero.)

    or

    2. Defend a potentially guilty man. Get the girl. Fight a mob that includes family and friends. He becomes a hero (though not quite in an Atticus Finch sense). He becomes the least likely avatar of morality among the savagery and civilisation’s worst side. (By association, he becomes as worse as the reformed paedophile and a hated man. So yeah – he’s in trouble too.)

    Themes:
    Doubt. Morality and savagery (what stops us from becoming animals?).
    Change. Forgiveness.

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  2. Posted: November 5, 2019In: Drama

    An ex-con, defending a reformed paedophile from an angry mob ? begins to doubt the man?s innocence.

    Mike Pedley Singularity
    Added an answer on November 5, 2019 at 6:43 pm

    We need to understand the ex-con's motive. I wonder if it would be worth, rather than a reformed paedophile, make him a wrongly accused paedophile. Through the events in the film, we can discover that he was actually let off on a technicality or something and the ex-con discovers that perhaps he didRead more

    We need to understand the ex-con’s motive.

    I wonder if it would be worth, rather than a reformed paedophile, make him a wrongly accused paedophile. Through the events in the film, we can discover that he was actually let off on a technicality or something and the ex-con discovers that perhaps he did do it after all.

    I’m seeing an “Assault on Precinct 13” type film.

    I think you’re right to drop the sister love story. Whilst it’s interesting, I ?don’t think it’s the A-story.

    Can you put this into a more conventional format. Inciting incident, protagonist and goal?

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  3. Posted: November 5, 2019In: Drama

    An ex-con sets out to kill the reformed paedophile who he believes murdered his child, only to fall for the man’s protective sister.

    Mike Pedley Singularity
    Added an answer on November 5, 2019 at 1:21 am

    Some of my comments on your previous version are now rendered redundant hahaha! What happens after he falls for the sister? What's his new goal? Like I mentioned in the previous version of this logline, is the relationship with the sister the A-story or the B-story? Maybe something like (from the MPRead more

    Some of my comments on your previous version are now rendered redundant hahaha!

    What happens after he falls for the sister? What’s his new goal? Like I mentioned in the previous version of this logline, is the relationship with the sister the A-story or the B-story?

    Maybe something like (from the MPR):

    but when he discovers the real truth the ex-con must protect the sex offender from a community that despises him.

    My attempt isn’t perfect by any stretch … but I think since the story is primarily about the two convicts (which I think is great) it’s important to keep that front and centre.

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